UPJOKE

Miss Piggy Jokes

Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?

Because when she gets to 69 there's a frog in her throat.

What do you think is history's SHORTEST joke? My submission is Miss Piggy's 2 worder :

"Pretentious? ...*MOI ?"*

If James Hetfield officiated Kermit and Miss Piggy's wedding...

He'd be a Pastor of Muppets!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kermit and Miss Piggy

Kermit and Miss Piggy are in bed and Miss Piggy says "Kermit what are you going to do to my asshole tonight" Kermit replied "Rippit".

If Kermit The Frog converted to Islam, would that make Miss Piggy...

Haram bae?

Why can’t miss piggy hold down a relationship?

Because she’s afraid of kermit-ment

Why does Miss Piggy hate comedy?

Because her father got roasted.

Miss piggy has filed for divorce from Kermit the frog...

...cause Kermit converted to Judaism and can no longer eat pork.

How come Miss Piggy hasn't thought about dating Porky Pig?

Because she's in a kermitted relationship.

What’s sweaty has really tidy nails and smells like bacon

Miss piggy’s puppeteer

What did Miss Piggy's boyfriend do after he found out she was unfaithful?

Kermit suicide.

What do you call a life sized miss piggy doll?

Amy Schumer on a good day

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mr Hetfield's dinner

So James Hetfield from Metallica walks into an Italian restaurant carrying Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear, Gonzo, Animal, and Rowlf the dog under his arms. He strolls straight past the waiter, into the kitchen, and starts hacking them all to pieces with a large carving knife. He throws th...

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