UPJOKE
united states

Miracle Grow Jokes

What’s the difference between dirt and miracle grow?

Not mulch

Holmes, someone has put miracle grow on this freshly dug grave.

The plot thickens, my dear Watson.

A man is frustrated with his wife gaining a little weight

He tells her, “Maybe you should wash your clothes in slim fast since you won’t try anything else.”

The wife goes to bed angry. The next morning when the husband puts on his underwear, it’s full of powder. He asks his wife why she put baby powder in his underwear.

She replies, “It’s n...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

ME: honey WHY are you putting talcum powder in my shorts????

WIFE: it’s not talcum powder it’s Miracle Grow

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife.

Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!"

His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go un-rewarded.

The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. "What...

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