UPJOKE

Mind Blowing Jokes

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Why did you break up with your girlfriend? You described the sex as mind blowing?

That's right. She didn't mind blowing other guys.

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The wife was crying after the greatest mind blowing sex ever.

I guess I shouldn't have called and told her about it.

1 in 6 people...

find Russian roulette mind blowing.

Have you guys scene the new john Wilkes booth movie?

I’ve heard it’s mind blowing.

My uncle died

He found it mind blowing that you can't play Russian roulette with a Glock

I just read John F Kennedy's biography

The end was mind blowing

I saw the JFK film on the plane the other day

It was truly mind blowing

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I was amazed to learn that one quarter of women dislike giving oral sex.

25%. Mind blowing.

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A woman goes to a pet store to buy a companion.

The assistant in the pet store however guides her to the aquarium and says "these frogs are on special.'
"Why would I want a frog" says the woman.
The shop keeper looks around sheepishly then says "this frog gives the best oral sex in the world, MIND BLOWING!!"
The woman immediately buys ...

I've recently discovered how amazing russian roulette is

It's absolutely mind blowing

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What do pizza and sex have in common?

When it’s good it’s mind blowing good but when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good

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Whats the difference between a dollar and a dick?

People don't mind blowing a dollar.

I have an amazing gardener who's both vision impaired and dyslexic.

His work is Mind BLowing

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Adam and Eve

When God made Adam he noticed that Adam was sad and asked what was wrong.

Adam - I'm lonely.

God - That's no good! How about I make you a companion? One that is gorgeous, give you mind blowing sex, will cook and clean, and doesn't mind it when you spend time with the guys or watch f...

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Three guys are sitting at the bar

The bartender asks them, "What's the matter with you guys?"

The first guy says, "My wife's always complaining and nagging. She's always on my case about not buying her new clothes...but at least I get to see this prostitute every night. The sex is great and it's only a quarter per thrust."...

There was a man who believed that he could cook the best meal ever existed in the history of kitchen culture, and he wanted to show his dish to the most talented an known chefs from all around the world

He invited all the top chefs of the world that he could reach to and organized a nice evening where he would cook and serve his special course. After the chefs came, he went to the kitchen and began cooking. Even though the chefs insisted, he didn't let anyone in and mysteriously prepared his dish.<...

What did Lincoln say about his experience at Ford theater?

He said it was mind blowing.

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An oldie in honor of Sir Sean Connery, RIP

Sean Connery was interviewed by Michael Parkinson and bragged that, despite being 72 years of age, he could still have sex three times a night.

Cilla Black, who was also a guest, looked intrigued.
After the show, Cilla says, "Sean, if I'm not bein too forward, I'd luv to 'ave sex with yer....

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Two guys and a girl are stranded on a desert island

All hope is lost and they decide if they're going to die, at least they're going out with a bang. With nothing else to keep them occupied, all they do is have sex. Nonstop mind blowing sex. They're trying everything in the book, every position, physically enjoying each other as much as possible.
...

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Sand paper sally

So a guy gets out of prison. He has been locked up about 15 years but the day has finally come and he is loving life.
He gets released and has the clothes on his back and give dollars to his name.
Above all else, before food, lodging, anything. This man wants some pussy.
So, he goes to a br...

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Just ask for Sally

So there is this guy, let's call him Joe.

Joe wakes up one day and realizes not only is it pay day, but he has the day off. So Joe goes through his regular morning ritual and then pays some bills, gets groceries and thinks to himself "well I have everything I need so let's have some fun."...

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A guy visits a farm

He is given a tour by the farmer. At some point he spots a pig with a wooden leg. What's the story of this pig over there, he asks the farmer.
Oh! Glad you asked. This pig, he's something else. Last year, we had a fire in the house. Flames and smoke everywhere. We all got out in time but then my ...

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A man meets a beautiful woman in a bar . .

Without too much small talk, she practically begs him to come sleep with her. They go back to her place and he has the most mind blowing sex he's ever experienced. She's insatiable. In awe of her, he asks how she is so voracious. "Well," she explains, "I have an abnormal amount of estrogen and it ju...

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