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Why does Mike Wazowski win every race?

Because he’s always a-head.

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Mike Wazowski meets a genie who gives him one wish

Wazowski: I’d finally like another eye

Genie: done!

Wazowskii: nothing happened

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Mike Wazowski and James P. Sullivan have one of the largest kitchens in the entire world.

Including the monster sink.

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How does Mike Wazowski make such good neck jewelry?

Because he’s neckless

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What's the difference between Mike Wazowski and a carrot?

One's a bunny feast, and the other is a funny beast.

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What did Mike Wazowski call his tattoo parlor?

Monster's Ink.

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