UPJOKE

Masked Man Jokes

A masked man walks into a sperm bank with a gun.

He points the gun at the receptionist and tells her to open the safe. She says: but you don't understand. This is not a normal bank. This is a sperm bank. The man says: I know exactly what this is. Now open a sample and swallow the whole thing. The woman opens one and swallows it all. The man then t...

An armed masked man bursts into a bank yelling "EVERYBODY PUT YOUR HANDS UP, THIS IS A ROBBERY!"

The patrons and staff, terrified, comply.


He's loading up his sack with cash when his mask slips off. He quickly pulls it back up and sees two guys who may have seen his face. He points his gun at the first.


"Did you see my face?"


"Yes"


BANG, he sh...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A masked man enters a sperm bank with a gun.

He points the gun at the woman behind the desk. Shivering in fear she says, "take anything you want!"

"Open that cup of semen."

The woman looks over at a tray of recent sperm samples with a disgusted look on her face.

He yells, "Do it!"

Shivering in fear she grabs the co...

Masked man robs a sperm bank...

... He approaches the safe with a gun and yells at the nurse,
"Open up this safe!"

Nurse replied in fear, "But sir this is a sperm bank, we don't have any money here."

I said open up this safe now!" he yelled again and the nurse opened it up.

"Now drink this viel!"
...

Back in the 80's I was walking in Belfast when I was accosted by a masked man, brandishing a gun.

He asked "Are you a Catholic or a Protestant"? I replied "Neither, I'm an Atheist". The Gunman was silent for a moment, then finally said "Is that a Catholic Atheist or a Protestant Atheist"?

NSFW - A masked man bursts into a sperm bank with a gun...

He runs up to the woman working the front desk and screams, "OPEN THE VAULT!"

The woman is frightened and confused, "Sir, this is a sperm bank!"

"OPEN IT!", he yells while waving the gun.

She complies and opens the vault.

"Now take out a sample and drink it!", he demands....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A couple left the gynecologist’s office with the wife in tears. They were just told that she could never become pregnant and they would never have the family they both desired so fervently.

Suddenly, a masked man appeared before them.

"I think I can help you," he said, handing them a card. "Why are you masked?" the husband asked. "Because the government has declared our activities illegal. Go to the address on this card. The doctor will take a scraping from your mouth and cultur...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This is a robbery!

A man storms into a bank with a ski mask over his head and a shotgun.

"This is a robbery" the man shouts. "Open the vault!!"

The receptionist stands still looking at the robber questionably.

"We don't have any money here sir" the receptionist replies. "This is a sperm bank..."...

Mario decided to take up an extra job at the bank.

He had only been working a few weeks and was having a rough day when suddenly a masked man bursts through the door and yells: "This is a robbery!"

This was the last straw for Mario and pulls a shotgun out of his desk, aims it at the man and gives him til the count of 3 to get out or hell blas...

Bill and Steve walk out of a bar after having a few drinks together...

Around the corner, a masked man steps from an alley and points a gun at them. "Gimmie all your money, both of you! Now!"

Bill says, "Hold on! Just gimmie 10 seconds!" He turns to Steve and says, "Here's that $100 I owe you, man."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[long] A pregnant woman was standing in line at a bank.

All of a sudden a masked man bursts through the front door waving a gun wildly around. He shouts that he is robbing the bank and that everyone in it is now his hostages. The police soon arrive and in the ensuing stand off shots were exchanged from both sides, the woman was struck three times in her ...

The Lone Ranger and Tonto ride into town on a cold December day

"Just wait out here," says the Lone Ranger. "I need to see a man in the saloon. They won't let you in, it's illegal to serve alcohol to your people."

"It's freezing," complains Tonto as he hitches the horses to the rail. "What am I supposed to do?"

"Run up and down to keep warm," the L...

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Three women are in the locker room...

...getting ready to play racquetball, when a masked man runs in, stark naked, dick flopping all over the place.

The first woman looks down and says, "Well, it's certainly not *my* husband!"

The second woman looks too and says, "No, it's not him."

The third woman says "This guy ...

Working at the sperm bank,

Working at the sperm bank, the receptionist was shocked to see a man enter with a mask on and gun. The man stormed up to the counter, pointed the gun at her and said "This is a hold up!"

Confused the lady said, "Sir this is a sperm bank not a..." but the masked man demanded that she shut up, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three roaches and a woman.

These three roaches all live among this dirty woman. Every now and then, the three roaches get together and shoot the shit. This time they convened at her belly button. Sitting around the navel like a campfire the roaches begin to speak.

The first roach says,
"God my home sucks. I live u...

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