UPJOKE

Marriage Is Like Jokes

A failed marriage is like an Avengers movie.

First someone snaps, then half your stuff is gone.

Marriage is like a deck of cards.

In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond.

By the end you wish you had a club and spade.

They say marriage is like a three-ring circus

First, you get the engagement ring.

Then, you get the wedding ring.

And finally, you get suffering

My marriage is like a fairytale.

I was charming and my wife was beautiful, Once upon a time...

Marriage is like a tornado

First there’s a lot of blowing, then you lose your house.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

To me, marriage is like a yard sale.

From a distance it looks kind of interesting but once you’re in it you realize it’s filled with a lot of crap you don’t want.

What is marriage like?

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "My son is almost grown up now. Over the weekend he asked me what marriage is like," he tells the bartender. "So, what did you tell him?" the bartender asks. "I told him, 'It's fine.' And then I gave him the silent treatment for three days."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Marriage is like a fart

If you force it, it’s shit.

Marriage is like a public toilet.

Those waiting outside are desperate to get in and those who are inside are desperate to come out.

Marriage is like a seesaw.

It's not fun if one of them is fat.

Marriage is like a workshop; the husband works very hard

And the wife shops very hard

Marriage is like a bar of soap...

It smells delicious until you take a bite out of it

They say marriage is like a three ring circus ...

There is the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering ...

Marriage is like Comcast.

Frustrating as hell and once a month you get screwed.

Marriage is like a fire.

If you put the logs too close together the fire grows too hot and burns out quickly. If you put the logs too far apart the fire goes cold. The trick is having the logs just the right distance apart.

And every once in a while you have to use your poker.

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