UPJOKE

Man With No Arms And No Legs Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man with no arms and no legs is sunbathing on the beach

A beautiful woman walks over to him and says “awww you poor thing! I bet you’ve never been hugged before have you?”

He replies: “well, no actually I haven’t!”

She leans over and gives him a big hug.

“I bet you’ve never been kissed before either, have you?” she asks.

Once ...

Q. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs?

A. Anything you want, there's nothing he can do about it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman with no arms and no legs was lying on the beach...

A woman with no arms and no legs was lying on the beach as a fit, handsome man walked by.

"Sir," she said, "Would you do me a favor? I'm very lonely here. Would you give me a hug?"

"Certainly," he said, and knelt down to give her a hug.

She blushed and said, "That was wonderful....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man with no arms and no legs is sitting on the beach, thinking deeply about his life.

As he lays there, unable to move, he thinks about all the rejection he has faced. Countless women, scared off by his grotesque appearance, have avoided all contact with him. Never been kissed, never been loved.


As he reflects on his sad, lonely existence, a beautiful, busty young lady, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man with no arms and no legs is sat on a beach

A man with no arms and no legs is sat on a beach when he spots three playboy bunnies walking by him. They all spot him and feel bad for him so they try to cheer him up.
The first playboy bunny walks up to him and says; "Have you ever been hugged?" The man shakes his head so she gives him a hug.<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man with no arms and no legs sits at the beach pondering his lonely life

3 beautiful women walk by and the first woman taking pity on the man walks up and asks "Have you ever been hugged before?"

"No" says the man. So she hugs him and walks on.

The 2nd woman also taking pity on the man, walks up and asks "Have you ever been kissed before?"

"No" the m...

A man with no arms and no legs always had a dream of becoming a firefighter.

His mother didn’t want to crush his dreams but she knew he would never be accepted. She let him set up an interview so he could be let down slowly. Surprisingly, she picked him up and he gave her the news that he got the job. She was shocked. On his first day of work, she wanted to check in on him s...

A thrice divorced woman is giving love another try ...

Her first love abused her with his fists. The second one ran away. The third one completely failed in bed. But she still feels lonely and doesn't want to stop believing in love, so she posted an ad on a newspaper with her story that she was still available. A few days later, she heard the doorbell r...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you say to a woman with no arms and no legs?

Nice tits, sweetheart.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Oldie but goodie. A man with no arms and no legs is hanging out on a bridge, crying.

A lady walks up to him and asks “why are you crying?”. The man responds “I was born with no arms and no legs, and life has been cruel. I’ve never felt the embrace of a woman giving me a hug”.

So the lady wraps her arms around him, tells him it’s gonna be okay, but he’s still crying. So she as...

Where’s the best place to find a man with no arms and no legs?

Where you left him

A man with no arms and no legs...

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in the water?
Bob.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall?
Art.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying on the doorstep?
Matt.

What do you call a man with no arms and no l...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who swam across the English Channel?

A clever dick

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who's trying to get home?

A taxi

Did you hear about the man with no arms and no legs?

The doctor said he would be arsing around for the rest of his life

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs that plays 15 musical instruments?

Stump the Band

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is walking up and down a beach when he comes across a crying woman with no arms and no legs...

He asks the woman, “Why are you crying?”

She responds “Well, I’ve never been hugged.” So, he picks her up and hugs her, before continuing down the beach.

An hour or so later, he walks by the still crying woman again. He asks her, “Why are you still crying?”

She replies, “Well...

A young man with no arms and no legs dreamed of becoming a fireman.

His mother didn't have the heart to discourage him, even though she knew there was no way he could be a firefighter.

To her surprise, when she picked him up after his interview, he excitedly told her that they had taken him on, he was finally a real firefighter! His mother congratulated him,...

What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs on a roller coaster?

>!Jocelyn!<

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.