UPJOKE

Saw a homeless man eating grass in the park

I asked him "Why are you eating grass?"

He said "I am very hungry"

I replied "Oh, okay then. Come with me."

You should've seen his face when I showed him my backyard.

A man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw a man eating grass by the roadside...

He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

"Why are you eating grass?" he asked the man.

"I don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.

"Oh, please come to my house!"

"But sir, I have a wife and four children..."

"Bring them along!"...

Did you hear the story about the Man Eating Tree?

Well, long story short it was all bark and no bite.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man enters a taxi and sees a man eating something...

He asks the driver "what ya eating?" The driver responds "smart tablets" so the man asks if he could have one. 15 minutes later the man says "I don't feel any smarter, can I have another?" The driver hands him another. 15 minutes later he says the same thing and the driver offers him another, this t...

A village is being terrorized by a man eating tiger.

All the villagers' efforts to catch this tiger have been in vain. They call an acclaimed hunter "One shot Bob" who is so named because rumor has it that he can disable or kill any animal with just one shot.

So the hunter arrives, all smug and self assured. He prepares for the hunt and perch...

Saw a homeless man eating a tin of baked beans and I thought it was really sad, so I walked over to him and said...

"I think you're supposed to open that first"

What should you do if you come across a man eating crocodile?

Wipe it off, apologize, and leave him to finish his exotic meal in peace.

A rich man was driving in his Cadillac when he sees a poor man eating grass on a hill

“What are you doing” - Says the rich man.

“I have 3 days without food for me and my family, so the grass on this hill is our last resource”

“Daaaammmm, say no more, get in” -Says the rich man, exited.

“Ohhh, thank you very much. Do you mind if I tell to my wife and 2 kids about...

A man eating in a restaurant calls the waiter over.

The man tells the waiter, “this restaurant must have a very clean kitchen!”
“Thank you sir, how did you know?”
“Everything tastes like soap.”

A man is eating at a restaurant.

A man is eating at a quiet restaurant. In his moment of joy from incredibly tasty food he rips out a huge fart. Really embarrassed, he starts dragging a chair next to him back and forth to simulate a fart noise.

A gentleman eating at the neighboring table says to him:

"It makes a total...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the difference between the comment sections and a man eating a chili dog?

I dunno. All I know is after an hour they both go to shit.

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