UPJOKE

How does a Jewish man make coffee?

Hebrews.

Husband asks Wife to make coffee

Newlyweds wake up one morning on their honeymoon and the man suggests: “Darling, why don’t you brew us some coffee?” Wife looks confused, “But that's your task, honey.” woman says “What? Why?”man asks. “It’s all over the Bible, dear.” woman replies “The Bible says nothing about who’s supposed to b...

In Israel, why is it that only men are allowed to make coffee?

Because of *Hebrew* law

When does a lawyer make coffee?

When he has sufficient grounds

A man and a woman are arguing who is supposed to make coffee.

(deleted) -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/

Two astronauts on the ISS...

..decide to make coffee, one says "I can't find the milk".

The other replies "In space, no one can, here, use cream"

A comment made in retort to my wife this morning made her laugh through the day

Not really a joke, but see if you people think its funny.

We got a young puppy atm and myself an wife usually get up at same time early each morning to sort her out. As she hasn't seen us for a few hours as she sleeps downstairs with cats, she gets excited and clingy first thing, so one of u...

Moms Recipe for Iced Coffee

Have Kids.
Make Coffee.
Forget you made coffee.
Put it in the microwave.
Forget you put it in the microwave.
_*DRINK IT COLD*_

Coffee and the Bible

Did you know the Bible talks about who should make coffee? There's a whole book dedicated to it called Hebrews.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A list of puns

Here's a list of puns I've been collecting:

How do you throw a space party? You planet.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

Nope. Unintended.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower.

A scarecrow says,...

A guy in an old, cheap car

Stopped at a gas station beside the latest Mercedes driven by a rich man. The first guy says "that's a nice car you got here, but my car is better". The second guy smiles and asks calmly "and how it is better?" The guy replies "well, my car comes with a genie" the guy with the Mercedes sarcastically...

Coffee joke

Q: Why can't you make coffee happy?




A: because it's always bitter.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Early one morning, you pull down your favourite cup, only to find a small dragon, curled up and sleeping contentedly inside.

Confused and still half asleep you take the cup outside to empty the dragon carefully onto the grass, then return to rinse your cup and make coffee. The next morning he is back, curled snuggly inside the cup as before and you repeat the process.

After a week of repeating this process you make...

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