UPJOKE

Lump Of Coal Jokes

A walkie-talkie invited a lump of coal to dinner and a movie.

Classic example of radio-carbon dating.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One year for christmas I got a lump of coal from santa..

So, the next year I decided to poison the bastard.
Unfortunately, somehow.. he must have found out my plan.. Cause when I woke up the next day, he had killed my dad with the exact same poison I had used..
Learn from my mistake people.. Don't mess with santa

A diamond is merely a lump of coal

that did well under pressure.

The Energy Crisis is so real…

… People want a lump of coal in their stocking.

This Christmas...

Naughty children will be given £1 coins instead of an expensive lump of coal.

I asked Santa for a new energy policy...

...but all I got in my stocking was a lump of coal. :-(

Why are steam trains naughty around Christmas?

They're hoping Santa will give them a lump of coal.

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