Love And Jokes

Son: "Daddy, I fell in love and want to date this awesome girl."

Father: "That's great, son! Who is she?"

Son: "It's Sandra, the neighbor's daughter."

Father: "Ohhh, I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something, son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. San... read more

The boy doesn’t know about 69 so the girl takes the lead.

He lies down on the floor and she squats down over his face to assume the position and farts out uncontrollably directly in his face. Embarrassed she stands up and apologises.

She squats down for another go but farts again, thi... read more

1. Find a woman who makes you laugh
2. Find a woman who has a job and loves housework
3. Find a woman who is honest
4. Find a woman who will wait on you no matter what
5. Find a woman who is awesome in bed
6. Most of all, it’s very important that these five woman never meet.

He did heroin

He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry."

The mother agrees.

The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, "Okay, Ma, guess whi... read more

Spitting, swallowing and gargling

The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.
She puts on her dressing gown and goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
... read more

A couple is going through a bitter divorce. The mans prize possession: baseball collectibles valued at $10000. Everyone knows, his spouse is entitled to half, in lieu of splitting his prized collection, he offers 8k cash. Out of spite she denies the offer and insists the collection be split. She too... read more

About $2 billion, give or take

Because both were successful punk rockers, who are most well known for killing Kurt Cobain.

Alas, weddings of that variety haven't been legalised yet meaning they cantaloupe

Soon, some say too soon after that, they got married. As the newlyweds didn’t have a car, the mother of the bride decided to gift them the family heirloom, a 1965 Mustang GT350 that the brides grandfather had been racing back in the day.

For a while all was well and the bride and the groom sp... read more

"The end of both is messy!"

Anil and Sunil both have fallen in love with Geeta and express their desire to marry her.
She is confused. She goes to an astrologer and asks ....

"Anil and Sunil are both in love with me, please tell me who will be the lucky one?"

The wise old astrologer says:

"Anil will be... read more

1. Get a woman who cares for you and is compassionate.
2. Get a woman that knows how to maintain a home.
3. Get a woman that puts out.
4. Get a woman who will stay faithful to you forever.

And, most importantly:
5. Never let those four women meet each other.

She doesn't love me, and i don't understand her.

Love is blind and marriage is an eye-opener!

All of these felony convictions are making it awfully hard to get a job.

the prpose of life :)