"Ladies and gentlemen," the intercom on a large intercontinental flight announces, "this is your captain speaking. Please look out of the window on the port, or left side of the aircraft, and you will see that the left engine is on fire..."

"Now please look out of the starboard window, or right side of the aircraft, and you will see that the wing is breaking off, and will soon separate from the fuselage..."


"Now, please look down, to the tropical island below. At the beach, you will notice a small orange object. It is a life...

Why don't government employees look out of the window in the morning?

So they have something to do in the afternoon!

This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic.

If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire. If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off. If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little ...

I went to see my marriage counsellor.

He asked, "What is the last thing you do before you go to sleep?"

"Recently, I've been checking that all the doors are locked. Then I look out of my window."

"It sounds like you still value the safety of your partner."

"No," I said, "I just like to make sure there's nobody aroun...

Heron, cook and hunter.

So a hunter killed a heron and brought it to his cook to roast it. The cook got to work and it turned out so good that he couldn't handle himself and ate a leg piece. Now the hunter was sitting there waiting for his food and found a leg piece missing. He asked about the missing leg piece and the coo...

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