UPJOKE

Long Awaited Jokes

What did Matthew McConaughey say to his publisher about his long awaited upcoming book?

I’ll write, I’ll write, I’ll write!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman was waiting at a bus stop

The wait was going to be long. In the diner across the road, there was a fortune machine. 25 cents, the little slip of paper came out.

"You know how to play the violin"

Well that's not true, she thought. There happened to be a violinist in the diner, he let her try. To both of thei...

A lawyer dies and goes to heaven

Upon arriving at the pearly gates he sees a great crowd of welcomers and well wishers. It’s a huge party, all for him, with welcome banners, a choir, the whole shebang.

St Peter claps him in the shoulders and says “welcome home at last my long awaited child.”

“I don’t understand, why a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An older couple is leaving for a trip to Hawaii

So today was the day. Dave and Margie were boarding the plane on their long awaited trip to Hawaii. They take their seats and the pilot announces "our trip today will be about 5 hours and the weather report is very good, so just sit back and relax". And not knowing his mic was still on the pilot tur...

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