UPJOKE

IF I SCAM SOMEONE WITH CAPS LOCK ON..

IS IT A CAPITAL CRIME?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend is one of the worst cooks in the world

Just last night the raccoons offered me money to chip in for a lock on my garbage bin!

Why couldnt the laptop take off his hat?

He had caps lock on.

A man parks his car in the Red Square in Soviet Russia

A policeman rushes over and yells: "Why are you parking here? Do you know where this is? This is the government's place!"

The man replies: "I know, don't worry, the lock on my car is really good"

What's the quickest way to discard an old bike?

Put a lock on it an place it in downtown Vancouver.

A defense Lawyer was cross-examining a police officer

A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial - it went like this:
Q. Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
A. No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.
Q. Officer, who pr...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An American woman uses the toilet at an Irish bar.

She complains to the barman that there is no lock on the door.

The barman says "My grandfather opened this bar, then passed it to my father who passed it to me."

The woman rudely cuts him off and says "what does that have to do with having a lock on the door?"

The barman replie...

A man asks his fiancee to get married...

She happily accepts his proposal, but he sets out a clear condition if they're to marry.

"I have a closet at the end of the hall, and I keep it locked. That is my personal space and I don't want anyone, including my wife, to ever enter. Can you agree to that?"

She thinks his request a ...

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