UPJOKE

Little Person Jokes

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A dwarf was drinking in a bar, when a sexy blonde walked up to him and said "Ive always wanted to have sex with a little person"

**The dwarf replied "Im sorry, but Ive had women say that before, then I go home with them and the husband or boyfriend finds out and I get beaten up" "Its ok" said the woman, "my husband is working away until next week" So, against his better judgement he goes back with the woman. They start having...

I used to date a woman who was a little person.

I was nuts over her!

My friend is a little person...

He's epileptic and delivers pizzas for a living.

His name is Kevin, but I like to call him Little Seizures.

I have never met a little person that is egotistical.

They are all pretty down to earth.

When is the only time its okay to punch a little person?

If they tell you "your hair smells nice".

A little person told me to bang her

I told her I don’t get down like that.

What happens when a psychic Little Person escapes from prison?

We've got a small medium at large.

Little person in the grocery line

I was in line at the grocery store yesterday and behind me in line was a dwarf or little person or whatever is the right word to call him. I chatted with him about the weather and during our conversation he mentioned his wife. I couldn’t help but ask if she was of the same stature as him or not. He ...

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What's the difference between a little person genius and a venereal disease?

One is a cunning runt and the other is a running cunt.

I got into a car accident with a little person.

He got out and said "I'm not happy"

I said "Well which one are you then ?"

How do you announce that a psychic little person has escaped from prison?

"A small medium is at large."

Bonus:
A worm crawls out of a pile of spaghetti and says: “Damn, that was one hell of a gang bang!”

What do you call a little person who cannibalizes their own family?

A munch-kin.


That joke was stupid.

Rear ended a little person while driving home. He hops out, walks back and screams...

"I AM NOT HAPPY!!!".....I asked him, "Which one are you then?" That's when the fight started.

I was going to make a game where you play a death-defying, cross-dressing little person.

But I see you guys hate micro trans action.

I ended up quitting my job cause they promoted a little person to supervisor.

I just got sick of the micro managing.

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Best-fitting phrase for the act of having sex with a little person?

Cumming up short?

My friend,who is a little person,got pickpocketed on his way home from work...

How could anyone stoop so low.

I was at Disney World buying a drink when I accidentally backed up into a little person.

“I’m so sorry sir! I wasn’t paying attention and I should have been. Are you okay?” I say.

“I’m okay, but I’m not happy.” he says to me.

Confused, I reply, “Well that’s good, but which one are you?”

I saw a little person at a Halloween party. He was dressed as Prince Andrew but hauling around a small compressor with him.

I approached him and asked what the deal was and he told me he was "compressed heir."

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I asked a little person walking to a moving van carrying a flatscreen and asked him if I could help him with his tv.

He said "fuck you man, this is my ipad!" What a jerk.

I was feeling very rundown and tired when suddenly a muscular little person grabbed both of my legs and lifted me into the air with ease. I instantly felt refreshed!

I guess I just needed a little pick-me-up.

My butcher's assistant is a little person. I tried to bet him he couldn't sell me one of his top-shelf filets.

"No bet," he said. "The steaks are too high."

My brother recently seen an ad on kijiji for a 42" TV.

Boy was he shocked when a crossdressing little person showed up at his door.

You shouldn’t make fun of short people

Because it’s a little person too... I mean a little too personal

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The Leprechaun Joke

A man went to a pub on St. Patrick's Day to have some drinks with his mates. After a while, the man needed to relieve himself, so he went to use the restroom.

The restroom was quite small and only had two urinals, one of which was being used by what appeared to be a little person. The man beg...

A prison guard is trying to catch someone escaping

The prisoner was a little person who climbed the fence and as he was going down the other side he laughed at the guard. The guard watched in disbelief thinking, "Now that is a little con-decending."

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I saw my neighbour who was a dwarf standing at the bud stop the other morning

So I stopped and said “Jump in, I’ll give you a lift”

“Fuck off!” He said,

And I thought to myself “ what an ungrateful little person”

So I zipped up my backpack and walked off.

So I live next to a prison...

One morning I awoke to the sight of a little person breaking out of said prison, hastily climbing down the fence to freedom.

Sipping my coffee I thought to myself "*Well that's a little condescending".*

Prison Escape.

I was driving past my state’s penitentiary the other day when I noticed a little person climbing down the wall to escape.

I thought to myself, “huh, that’s a little condescending.”

So I was feeling a little stiff the other day...

until the mortician told me to get away from the little person cadaver.

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I rear-ended a car going to work this morning.

I was fiddling with the radio and hit the car in front of me. Not hard, but it did a little damage. I was surprised to see the driver's door of the car I hit open, and out stepped a little person marching towards me with a very pissed off expression on his face. As I got out of my car, he says, "I'm...

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