UPJOKE

Little Known Jokes

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It's a little known fact that most vacuums are gay

They're always coming out of the closet

Little known fact: Billy Joel's song "Piano Man"

Is about a man who was bitten by a radioactive piano.

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There's a little known legend about Attila the hun

The story goes that Attila used to collect exotic animals that he found during his conquests. He particularly liked dangerous or fearsome animals, and his favourite was a giant snake. He was so fond of it, it was said that he brought it with him on every campaign.

But his snake lost its appet...

Little known fact, cowboys don’t roll joints...

They tumble weed...

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Little known fact...

The first time whale semen was studied by a marine biologist was actually at the request of one particular sperm cell. The following conversation took place.

Sperm: I just want to be taken seriously. I think that reproductive cells are an easy target for crude humor made by the mindless immat...

A little known fact...

Before the crowbar was invented, most crows drank at home.

It’s a little known fact that chuck Norris was dropped twice as a child

Once on Hiroshima and once on Nagasaki

As we were driving down the road, "Sweet Caroline" came on the radio. I said to my son, "Little known fact, Neil Diamond used to be called Neil Coal."

"Until the pressure got to him."

Little known fact-

Captain Hook bought his hook from a second hand store.

A Little Known Fact About the Works of J.R.R Tolkien

For his Eleventy-first birthday, instead of fireworks, Bilbo initially asked Gandalf if he could bring the band that plays Dream Police to perform a concert at the party.

This enraged Gandalf however, as Bilbo Baggins took him for some conjurer of Cheap Trick.

It's a little known fact that bears believe in astrology...

It's called The Kodiak.

One of their pickup lines is "Hey honey... what's ursine?"

A little known rule is that all employees of IKEA have to stand in a line in the meeting room before every shift.

Assembly is required.

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A little known rule: You cannot be circumcised if you are running for political office in the US.

You need to be a complete dick.

Little known fact, Moses had a motorcycle

It literally says so in the Bible:

"And lo, the roar of Moses' Triumph was heard throughout Israel"

Little known fact: Jesus was most probably a student.

* He still lived with his parents
* Long, uncut hair
* And if he did something for once, it was a miracle.

Little known fact about William Tell

We all know William Tell for his archery skills, but did you know he was also an avid bowler? His whole family bowled actually, and there was even a league in his area. At the time Joining a team was a difficult , daunting task, but by some fortune he and several relatives made the same team. Unfort...

Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer has a little known brother.

Randolf the brown nosed reindeer,

he can run as fast as Rudolf, he just can't stop as quick.

A little known fact about Jim Jones is that he was an aspiring boxer

He quit the sport after taking out 900 people with one punch

Little known fact : in the 80s Sweden tried relying on...

.. exports of Wigs, Dentures and Prosthetic limbs, but it was a false economy.

It's a little known fact that William Shakespeare and Lord Byron died on the same day.

When they met Saint Peter at the pearly gates, he said, "We are honored to receive two incredibly distinguished poets on the same day! Unfortunately we don't have room for both of you to enter today, so we're going to have to have a little contest. I'm going to say a word, and both of you have to ma...

Little known fact: Medusa was actually incredibly attractive...

Every guy who saw her got hard as a rock immediately.

It's a little known fact that the inuit people always know when someone is willing to kiss.

They have a good nose for it.

A little known fact about China.

The year of the Tiananmen Square massacre was the first year China tried to introduce Tanksgiving.

It's a little known fact that Elton John doesn't like iceberg lettuce

he's a rocket man.

Little known fact: as a joke, Peter Jackson made some of the Ents drink tea and chat in the background during the big fight scene at Isengard in the Two Towers

In other words, the real joke is in the calm Ents.

It’s a little known fact that surgeons are actually really good comedians

They always leave their patients in stitches!

Little known fact; Haley Joel Osment had a cameo in the Titanic movie.

His line? “Icy dead people.”

Little known fact, the mods of /r/Jokes are all actually Peruvian owls…

I think they're Inca hoots…

Little known fact

Delicacy is French for "I dare you to eat this".

A little known fact about me is I never cry when cutting onions

Just the rest of the time.

Little known fact- the sword fish has few predators to worry about in the wild... except

for the rarely seen Penfish which is said to be even mightier.

Little known fact about the first pie eating contest ...

It started March 14, 1592.

It hasn't stopped.

Edit - fixed the date

Little known fact #38: One of the first online "hook-up" apps started out using Sean Connery to do their voice overs. They soon noticed they were only getting hits from roofers.

Apparently they were interested in the dozens of hot shingles in their area.

It is a little known fact that the Bermuda Triangle

used to be called the Bermuda Rectangle.Until one side mysteriously disappeared.

A little known fact about president Trump is that he’s an avid Fortnite fan

What with all the walls being built

Little known Christmas fact #37: Due to the hot weather throughout the Middle East, Santa unhitches Rudolph and the crew and swaps to...

Bahrain deer.

Little known fact, in the 70s, Jim Morrison was originally the head of Microsoft. But after a few years, he was fired and replaced by Bill Gates.

Apparently, he made better Doors than Windows.

Little known fact: Most Star Wars' space fights filmed in a church

Pew Pew Pew

Little known fact: after their supposed death, Pierre and Marie Curie went on to become successful underwater assassins using a certain heavy metal.

Hundreds of people died of mer-Curie poisoning.

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Little known fact: Michael Caine tried to make it as a pimp, providing prostitutes for rock stars.

It didn't work out, though. One girl was hired to perform oral sex on Jim Morrison and his band mates but she ended up at a festival shagging every musician. Caine reprimanded her severely, telling her "YOU WERE ONLY SUPPOSED TO BLOW THE BLOODY DOORS OFF!"

Once a hobbit gets to around 125 years old, they are very likely to die. And a little known fact is that, when they do, they are generally found to have a raging, post-mortem erection!

That's right, old hobbits die hard.

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There's a little known legend about the Brothers Grimm: they wanted to write a story to rival The Ugly Duckling. For 'research' purposes, they bought a hundred ducks and released them into a cave..

..planning to return years later to document their behavior. Unfortunately both passed away before that, and the project was forgotten.


This information came to light hundreds of years later in 2>!XXX!<, during an investigation into strange quacking noises and numerous missing p...

There's a little known country in central Europe that is ruled by a monarchy... (x-post /r/dadjokes)

Not many people are aware of its existence but I assure that it is there all the same. The king of this little land faces a lot of difficulty. He wants to make his kingdom into a sovereign nation but unfortunately they do not have the infrastructure, population, or economy to do so. In fact, this sm...

It’s a little known fact that superstar actor Yul Brynner was a huge Liverpool F.C fan. He also refused to use aftershave as it made his skin come up in hives.....

Yul never wore cologne!

My dad CLAIMS to have invented this joke. I think it's too good and don't want to give him credit, but I can't find it online.

This story takes place in 1860. Back 150+ years ago, presidental candidates didn't have nearly the luxuries current candidates do. The didn't stay in five star hotels or travel by private jet - they stayed with normal families on their campaigns and in exchange for a place to stay, would do chores a...

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'Reincarnation' - My favourite joke of all time

Dave comes home from the pub, drunkest he's been in a long time, and collapses into bed next to his sleeping wife. Later, he's woken by a brilliant flash of light at the end of his bed, which his still sleeping wife seems oblivious to. St. Peter appears in all his glory, standing over the two of t...

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An artistic chicken

A guy walks into a bar with a chicken under his arm and orders a beer. "Hey, you can't bring a live chicken into the bar," the bartender admonishes him. "But this is a famous chicken. She can actually draw beautiful portraits of anyone," the guy tells the bartender. So the bartender asks for a demon...

The Goldberg Brothers - Are well known as the Inventors of the automobile Air Conditioner.

Here's a little known fact for automotive buffs, or just to dazzle your friends. The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Maxwell, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946 , the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees. 


The four brothers ...

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The Leprechaun Joke

A man went to a pub on St. Patrick's Day to have some drinks with his mates. After a while, the man needed to relieve himself, so he went to use the restroom.

The restroom was quite small and only had two urinals, one of which was being used by what appeared to be a little person. The man beg...

At the turn of the last century, Mexico was introduced to mayonnaise.

At the turn of the last century, Mexico was introduced to mayonnaise.

And they just loved it. They couldn't make mayonnaise quick enough.

Little known fact, the Titanic had a large vat of mayonnaise that was going to go to Mexico.

Now when the Titanic sunk, and the mayonnaise we...

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