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Liquor Stores Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

And nun walks into a liquor store

So, a nun walks into a liquor store and asks the guy behind the counter for a fifth of vodka.

The guy thinks a minute, and says, “Sister, I can’t sell you booze. You’re a nun!”

The nun giggles nervously and says, “Oh, it’s not for me. It’s for Mother Superior.” Then she leans forward a...

Apparently Liquor Stores are, “Essential Business,” in New York City

After all, it’s the only way Mayor DeBlasio could manage to make the worst possible decisions in every situation he has ever been in.

Did you know liquor stores are the most haunted places in the country?

they're all full of spirits.

I hate going to liquor stores.

Everyone wines about everything.

A straw man walks into a bar

Bar tender asks "Why do you hate liquor stores?"

After rewatching Doctor Strange use the Eye of Agamotto

I thought that it would be a good idea to list other lesser known, possibly not as powerful, Eye Relics for those who may not know of their existence.

The Eye of Hellomoto: Helps improve Motorola phone reception.

The Eye of Pickamoco: Aids in clearing the nasal cavity of any sorcerer...

Everyone loves a place that spreads Christmas spirit!

That’s why the liquor stores do so well

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Lack of Recognition

Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.

Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the spiritual leader of their churches.

Baptists do not recognize each other in liquor stores or gentlemen's clubs.

the fourth!

Remember - the liquor stores are closed tomorrow so buy your fifth for the fourth on the third right this second as your first priority!

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