UPJOKE

Life Is Like A Jokes

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Life is like a penis

It gets hard when you least expect it

Life is like a box of chocolates

**It doesn't last long for fat people**

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Life is like a dick

it gets hard for no reason and it's much shorter than you expected it to be.

Life is like a helicopter

I have no idea how to operate a helicopter

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Life is like a toilet paper

One minute you’re on a roll


And the next minute, you’re taking shit from some asshole

Life is like a corn dog

Women only want the weiner if it's got bread!

My momma said "Life is like a box of condoms..."

Runs out faster than you expect, and your mistakes will outlive you.

My love life is like a fairy tale

it's grim.

Life is like a nice, hot, bath.

The longer you're in it, the more wrinkles you'll get.

Life is like a game of chess

I cant play chess

Life is like a Zack Snyder movie

It's too long and I don't get how people can enjoy it

Life is like a golf match

A long series of tough hits until your in a hole in the ground

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Life is like a penis

It keeps getting hard for no reason and you never quite know what to do with it.

life is like a box of chocolates....

it is destroyed remarkably fast by an emotional woman.

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My life is like a penis with legs chasing a vagina with legs.

It’s just one fucking thing after another

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My sex life is like a game of pool.

Or at least like the 2 blue ball.

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Life is like a shit sandwich......

the more bread you have, the less shit you have to eat.

My love life is like a game of minesweeper

I ignore a bunch of red flags and it always blows up in my face.

[OC] Life is like a game of Tetris...

When you fit in, you disappear

Life is like a Rubik's cube

If you get one side of it all smooth and organized, you usually mess up all the other sides in the process.

Life is like a fan

If you stand behind it it sucks.
If you stand in front of you it blows.
If you stand to either side it doesn't do a damned thing for you.

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Life is like a farm

Gives you a ton of shit to deal with

Life is like a journal

Some days I struggle to write anything at all.

Life is like a game of golf,

Whoever has the least amount of strokes wins

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Life is like a zebra ...

... there are always stripes: black stripe, then white stripe, then black stripe, then white stripe again and before you know it … you’re in the asshole.

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Life is like a cocktail...

It's complex, it will fuck you right up, and it doesn't last nearly long enough.

Life is like a taco

It falls apart

Life is like a box of chocolate.

I always get the disgusting, alcoholed-filled one.

Life is like a box of chocolates

Half way through you realaize how much you hate yourself.

My life is like a fairytale

Everyday, when I come home, there's a witch waiting for me.

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Life is like a bisexual

It fucks everybody

My life is like a choose your own adventure book

its just that every option is a bad one and the pages aren't numbered

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Life is like a pubic hair on a toilet seat...

sooner or later you'll get pissed off.

My dating life is like a haunted house

I keep getting ghosted

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Life is like a box of chocolates...

It's expensive, you don't like half of it, and sometimes you can give the whole thing to a woman and she still wont have sex with you.

Life is like a basketball...

It has its ups and downs and is controlled by people that are taller and make more money than you.

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My sex life is like a weather forecast in the winter.

I predict they will get 5-7 inches but they usually only get 2-3 inches.

Life is like a dozen roses...

it's full of pricks!

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