Since breaking up with my girlfriend, my dad has been there to offer me plenty of life advice.
Which is rich coming from him, considering he was dating my girlfriend.
You know, a bit of life advice:
In case anyone ever makes fun of you, make sure you are *always* carrying a knife.
Life Advice
Never argue with an idiot. They'll drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
A bomb defusers life advice I live by
I asked him "Don't you get nervous about defusing the bomb?"
He shrugged and said "Either I'm right or its not my problem anymore"
Although "Appreciate the little things" is good life advice,
It's not something to say in bed.
I got great life advice from the old asian lady at the massage parlor
"If you want Happy Ending, don't pick young pretty girl."
My father always told me to take the road less travelled
I always thought he was giving me life advice but it turns out he was giving me drunk driving advice.
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