UPJOKE
idleslugstagnatetherestilljustexactlysomuchbeyondsomenothingfactwhathow

Lie About Jokes

All of the people on r/iamverysmart lie about their IQs.

As someone with a 176, I see right through it.

What weighs more? 50kg of Iron or a 50kg woman?

The woman. They always lie about their weight.

In high school I was voted Most Likely to Lie About Past Accomplishments.

It’s true...

What do you call a group of guys who lie about telling funny dad jokes but aren't fathers themselves?

faux pas

I wanted to lie about my soap trafficking

but I decided to come clean.

"The Russians wouldn't lie about radiation levels, would they?"

"Sure, no bull."

People who lie about their age disgust me.

And as a 300-year-old, I've seen so many of them.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Reddit Karma is a lot like sex

It's easier to get if you lie about having cancer

Why is it difficult to lie about the name of ocean front cliffs?

It's easy for people to call your bluff.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Liar

A minister passed a group of teenaged boys sitting on the church lawn. “Evening, boys. What are you doing?” “Nothing much, Pastor,” replied the one lad. “We're just seeing who can tell the biggest lie about his sex life.” “Boys, boys, boys!” intoned the minister. “I'm shocked. When I was you...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

99.9% of men masturbate

The other .1 lie about it

Why do some presidents make such great fishermen?

They know exactly how to rig the poles,
tell tall tails, and lie about the size of their cache.

What’s the difference between a butcher and a pastor?

The butcher does not lie about using grinder.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hillary Clinton speaks to the schoolchildren

Teacher: Class please welcome Hillary Clinton today. She will answer your questions.

Hillary: Hello class. Who has the first question?

*Johnny raises hand*

Johnny: My name is Johnny. I have 3 questions.

- Why did you lie about Benghazi?
- What was in those emails you d...

Never date a weatherman.

They always lie about the number of inches(snow or rain) you'll be getting.

How do you make Turkish coffee?

You grind up 1.5 million Armenian coffee beans and lie about it for a century.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do weather forecasters have in common with Nazis?

They often lie about showers.

A 50 kg woman , 50 kg of feather , and 50 kg of steel ,which one is heavier?

The woman

Because girls lie about their weight

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.