I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink on days that start with letter T.
Tuesday, Thursday and Today.
Fact: Q is the only letter that isn’t in any American state name.
And as such, believers in Q don’t belong in America
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
An elderly man living alone in Manchester wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, since the ground was hard.
His only son, Paul, who used to help him, was in prison (strange ways) . The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
Dear Paul,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be di...
Dave, a man committed to an insane asylum, was writing a letter.
The doctor asks "Hi there Dave, whatcha' doing there?"
Dave answers, "I'm writing a letter to myself."
"Really? What does it say?" The doctor asks.
And Dave answers, "I don't know, I haven't received it yet."
A Blonde goes to Heaven
(found this on an old PC, I was clearing out..)
A Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates. 'I'm sorry,' St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload of godly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Ex...
The Local sheriff was looking for a new deputy. When a blonde walks in to try for the job, he asks her "Okay, what is 1 and 1?"
"Eleven", she replies.
The sheriff thinks to himself, "That's not what I wanted, but I guess she’s right!"
"What two days of the week begin with the letter T?" he asks.
"Today and Tomorrow", the blonde answers.
The sheriff is again surprised that the blonde has supplied a...
Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.
He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed and Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper. St. Peter says, "Well, Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we've been ad...
a person died and reached the gates of heaven. An angel was guarding the gates.
a person died and reached the gates of heaven. An angel was guarding the gates. The Angel said "to enter the heaven, you need to answer 3 questions". The person agreed. (Angel : A, Person : P) A : name 2 days of a week, that starts with letter T. P : Today and tomorrow A: ok, I can ac...
Farmer and Son
A farmer wrote a letter to his son in jail for robbing a bank “This year, I can’t plant potatoes because you are not here to plow the field." The son wrote back, “Papa, don’t dare plow the field That is where I hid the money I stole.” The police intercepted the letter and by the next day...
What's a pirates least favorite letter?
Dear AT&T Customer...
We are sending you this letter to notify you that your IP address has been flagged for illegally downloading movies. We will have to suspend your account, pending further investigation.
We will be contacting you again soon, thanks for your cooperation. ...
A world renowned doctor is asked to visit a local mental institute to ensure all the patients truly belonged there...
He is told he will visit three patients and will be supervised by the institutes owner. When he arrives he visits the first patient in his room and sees the patient defecating into his own hands and smearing it on the wall. He quickly turns towards the supervisor and says “this man truly belongs he...
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
