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Lawyer Walks Into Jokes

A lawyer walks into a bar.

He retakes it.

A lawyer walks into a doctor’s office with a huge tumor on his face.



“Why didn’t you come sooner?” asks the doctor.

“To be honest, I was ashamed to leave the house,” the tumor says.

A greedy lawyer walks into a bar

Sorry. I didn't mean to be redundant.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Lawyer Walks into a Bar

A lawyer walks into a bar. He sees a beautiful, well-dressed woman sitting on a bar stool.

He walks up to her and says, "Hi there, how's it going tonight?"

She turns to him, looks him straight in the eyes and says, "I'll screw anybody at any time, any where -- your place or my place, i...

A lawyer walks into a bar

The bartender looks at him and asks “The usual?”
The lawyer nods. The bartender then serves a glass full of ice.
Just-ice was served...

A lawyer walks into a bar and the bouncer asks for his ID

The lawyer says "that wont be necessary as I'm bar certified"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lawyer walks into the doctor's with a frog on his head...

...The doctor says, "That's a nasty looking growth you've got there."

"I'll say." The frog replies. "It started out as a pimple on my arse!"

Donald Trump's lawyer walks into a bar…

... And sits down next to Trump.

He says, "I'm sorry but I can't really help you. You're looking at life in prison for treason."


Frustrated, Trump pays the bartender and storms out. On his way out he accidentally bumps into Mike Pence.


He says to Pence, "Pardon me."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lawyer walks into a bar...

Mr. Jones, the lawyer, walked into a bar. The bartender poured him a drink, then noticed Mr. Jones had a black eye. “What happened to you?” asked the bartender. “You look like you’ve been in a fight.”

“It’s been just an awful day at work, I tell you what.” said Mr. Jones. “I don’t even work i...

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