UPJOKE

Late Night Host Jokes

Topical Jokes for 10/9

(for best results, read in the voice of your favorite late night host)

In Indiana, a pizza delivery man received a $1,200 tip from college students. College officials applauded the act of charity, until they realized the “pizza” was just a box with $1,200 dollars worth of weed in it.

T...

Topical Jokes for 10/19

(for best results, read in the voice of your favorite late night host)

Carmaker Audi has tested a driver-less car at speeds of up to 140 mph. The driver-less supercar is perfect for the parent who’s too drunk to drive, but needs to pick their kids up from school in three seconds.

In Be...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Topical Jokes for 11/2

(for best results, read in the voice of your favorite late night host)

In Alabama, a man who robbed a Subway said he did so because he tried the “Subway Diet”, but didn’t lose weight. Police describe the suspect as armed and extremely gullible.

In New York City, a health department wor...

Topical Jokes for 10/21

(for best results, read in the voice of your favorite late night host)

NASA scientists are preparing for a mission to Mars by spending eight months in Hawaii. After eight months in Hawaii, the scientists will then go on a well-earned vacation.

...the Hawaii mission will help astronauts...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Topical Jokes for 10/29

(for best results, read in the voice of your favorite late night host)

McDonald’s has unveiled their new slogan, “Lovin’ Beats Hatin.” The hip hop slogan debuted alongside an updated Ronald McDonald, who is now shirtless and wearing a du-rag.

…”Lovin’ Beats Hatin” narrowly beat out the...

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