A Captain calls in the Sergeant. “Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones’ mother has died. Better go tell him and send him to see me.”
The Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops.
“Listen up, men!” he says. “Johnson, step out and report to the mess...
A young man who had been raised to be deathly afraid of guns was drafted into the army. He was ordered to overcome his fear or face perpetual KP duty. So, he went to a hypnotist who convinced him he would never have to fire a gun. "Just point your finger and say, 'Bangity-Bangity.'"
When in b...
While conducting a routine inspection, the colonel arrived at the mess hall door where he met 2 KPs with a large soup kettle. "Let me taste that," the colonel snapped. One of the men fetched a big spoon and handed it respectfully to the CO, who plunged the ladle into the pot and took a large mou...
Anything can be comic and anything can be tragic -- that's my big point right there.
I don't think anybody in this room thinks it's funny when a child is decapitated by an airbag. But wouldn't it be a little bit funny if, for 15 minutes before that, the kid was going, 'Mommy, I want a balloon! Get me a balloon! Mommy, I want a balloon!'
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
The Alaskan Miner
Desperate for work, Paul decides to accept a job offer mining deep in Alaska. After a long journey he arrives at the mining camp, 200 miles from civilization. The camp is small, with only a handful of miners.
He promptly meets up with the manager, and asks what his duties are.