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Pissed off God by not seeing everyday miracles.

There's an old joke...

There's a flood. A man is standing in knee deep water in his house. Another man in a canoe paddles by and says "Get in I'll row you to safety!"

The man says,"No thanks. I've prayed and God will save me".

The water gets to his chest. Another man in a bass b...

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A man died and went to Hell...

The devil said, " I will show you three rooms and the one you choose is the one you will spend an eternity."

The devil opened the first door and the man saw people doing handstands in knee deep of shit. He asked to see the next room. Inside the second room he saw people doing jumping jacks in...

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A man dies and ends up in Hell.

A man dies and ends up in hell, Satan shows up and walks him down a hallway, explaining that he would choose his torment from a selection of doors.


The first door opens up onto a vast expanse and millions of people standing on their heads on concrete. This doesn't have much appeal so the...

A dam breaks and a city gets flooded

Everybody runs except for a priest who continues to pray in the church.A man with a car sees him and tells him to hop on. The priest replies "no thanks,God will save me."Time passes and the priest is knee deep in water.A guy in a boat sees him and also tells him to hop on.But the priest again declin...

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One of my dad's favorites..

A man dies and finds himself at the pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter greets him and stops him from entering. While this man was not a really bad man, neither was he particularly good and St. Peter sends him down to hell. When he gets there, he is greeted by the devil, who tells him that there are t...

Walking on Water

It's the second resurection of Christ. Before the world ends he wants 
to take in some fishing. So he gets his friend Moses and they head up 
to Minnesota to fish. They are about to rent a canoe when Moses says:
"Jesus, can't you still walk on water? Why not just walk out there?"
So Jesu...

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A cowboy dies and goes to hell, Satan say's he can choose his punishment,

However there is one rule, once you pass on a pushiment, you cannot go back, you must move onto the next one, so the cowboy agree's and satan takes him to the first room, it is a bunch of men standing on their heads, the cowboy takes a look and says "naw ill pass on this one". so they go to the ...

I saw an old woman on the news who's house was flooded

She was standing there, knee deep in water, crying......and I thought that's not helping




Credit: Jimmy Carr

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2 Blonds go hiking

2 Blonds go hiking. Knee deep in jungle, one blond says she has to take a shit, but forgot to walk with toilet paper. The other blond says, do you have a dollar? " yes " says the first blond. well use the dollar then, says the second blond. a few minutes later, the first blond comes out from a shurg...

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A Man Goes to Hell...(NSFW)

A man goes to Hell, and is given a choice of which room he wants to spend eternity in. The demon leading him shows the man the first room. Inside are a bunch of people waist deep in shit.

"Nope, not this one" He says.

The demon takes him to the next room. In here everyone is neck deep...

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A bad man arrives at hell...

He looks around and there's *grass* everywhere! He asks the demon gatekeeper about it and he's told, "the Mormons are irrigating again."

There are three doors at the entrance to hell, and he's told by the demon to choose one to spend eternity behind. "Can I look to see what's behind them," as...

How deep is a frog pond?

Knee deep

Knee deep

God will save me.

A man is living in a house when a dam breaks and a violent flash flood happens and hits his whole neighborhood. The water begins rising higher and higher every moment. He's standing outside knee deep in water when some people on a canoe show up, they say to him "Hurry, get onto our canoe and we'll...

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A politican dies

But just as in life so in death, and the divine powers don't really know where to put the guy, is he a good guy or bad guy?
So St. Pete and Lucifer decide to show the deceased what they can offer him in the afterlife.

First it is downstairs, the gates of Hell open, and there's booze, naked...

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