UPJOKE

Kid Named Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One weekend, the husband is in the bathroom shaving when the kid he hired to mow his lawn, a local kid named Bubba, comes in to pee. The husband slyly looks over and is shocked at how immensely endowed Bubba is. He can't help himself, and asks Bubba what his secret is.

"Well," says Bubba, "every night before I climb into bed with a girl, I whack my penis on the bedpost three times.
It works, and it sure impresses the girls!"
The husband was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night.
So before climbing into bed with his wife, he...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So there's this kid named Jackson . . .

Jackson is about to have his first day of kindergarten.

He knows his name. He's like 5 or 6, or whatever age kindergartners are. They all know their names. That's important.

So Jackson goes into his class. His parents drop him off or whatever. Class starts and the teacher starts doing ...

We had an annoying kid named V in our school

Then we got a Vending machine.

To what would you change the name of a kid named Hunter if he becomes a vegetarian?

….Gatherer

Once there was a foster kid named Jumprope

No one through YEARS of guessing and thinking could figure out why on earth his birth parents would give him such a dumb name. They finally figured out why when he took a DNA test to figure out his ancestry, both of his parents were from the Netherlands. He was double dutch.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a kid named John Shit

Cursed boy, always hated his own name, whole life suffering bullying from everyone...

When turned 18 he was decided to change his name so he opened a process and headed to the judge:

- So, Mr John Shit, you want to change your name, right?
- Yes sir
- And how do you want to be ca...

Congratulations to the woman who gave birth to the kid named Envelope.

Hopefully, she keeps us posted.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A blind kid named Stevie just changed schools...

And he was thinking about his old friends. Since he was blind, he never got to look at his friend, James, and he randomly thought, "Was James brown?"

After a little while, he realised he left before his friend, Marvin, came out and so he thought "Was Marvin gay?"

Needles to say, these ...

The kids with special names

The oldest kid asked her mother. “Mom, why did you name me Feather?”

Mom: “I named you Feather because when you were a newborn a feather landed on your head”

The second oldest kid named Leaf asked the same.

Mom: “I named you Leaf because when you were a newborn a leaf landed on...

At school there's this kid named Euell. He's kinda slow and gets picked on a lot.

Apparently this group of kids have really taken advantage of Euell this week.

They pretend to be his friend so they can push infront of him in the lunch line. He went out with them last night so they could use his car, but they ditched him when they arrived. They even stooped low enough to m...

A father has a 8 year old kid named Jimmy that was always too afraid to ride a bike.

The dad says to Jimmy “Today is the day that you learn to ride a bike”
Jimmy responds “Dad, you know I can’t”
His dad replies with “Jimmy you have to learn how to ride a bike”
Jimmy refused to attempt it so his dad literally picked him up and put him on a bike. The dad was persistent in try...

Post Malone may be a popular rapper, but have you heard of his long-lost cousin Ho Malone?

His most popular track is about some kid named Kevin who has to fight off burglars in his house.

What do the 23rd President of the United States and The Devil have in common?

They both got beaten by a kid named Johnny

There was a woman with 100 children.

She lacked the creativity to name all of them so she just names them 1-100. 99 of the kids die. The only survivor is the kid named 90. 90 grows up and has kids of her own. One day, the kids find a stray dog. 90 did not want them to keep it. The kids decide to keep the dog secretly. They name the dog...

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