in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they were undressing for bed, the husband, who was a big, burly man, tossed his pants to the bride and said, "Here, put these on."
She put them on, but they were way too big.
"I can't wear your pants," she said.
"That's right,"...
Just Married
Following their wedding, the bride and groom retired to the honeymoon suite. Being staunchly religious folk, they had not been intimate, and the bride, being hesitant, watched as the groom removed his trousers. With a horrified look she gasped, "My Lord, what happened to your legs?"
"Well...
Tom, a successful Real estate developer was 65 and just married Candy, 44 years his junior
After they came back from their honeymoon they did a party for all of their friends. At the party one of Tom friends asked him:
“Hey man I know you got money and all but how did you land a woman so good looking and so young?”
Tom replies: “well, to be honest I lied about my age and hea...
My friend just married a trophy wife
Apparently she didn’t win first place
I just married a trophy wife..
Her ears stick out and she has a list of previous boyfriends tattooed down her back...
A young man has just been married....
A young couple was just married and during the reception, the groom’s grandfather pulls him aside…
“Are you ready for tonight?” he asks.
“Well, I’m a little nervous…. It’s my first time…”
“Oh! No worries! You are a Johnson! You will be great!”
The next morning, the young ...
I just married my best friend!
But my girlfriend isn't too happy about that.
An American just married his Chinese mail order bride...
They’re at the hotel after their quick wedding, ready to be intimate for the first time. They’re making out, things are getting hot and heavy.
Chinese Wife says: We can do whatever you want. What do you want to do? American husband says : I want to try a 69 Chinese Wife says: Why you w...
A young Italian couple were just married...
The year was 1901 and a young couple was just married in a small town in Italy. They were staying at the brides parents house, as it was customary for the first few days while their living situation was sorted out. The mother was making a delicious red sauce when the bride decided she would join h...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Three men, aged 40, 60 and 80, discuss their sex lives
The 40-year old says: "When my wife and I were just married, we'd do it every single day. Any position you could imagine. But now I'm lucky if we can average once a week".
The 60-year old man responds: "Once a week? Just wait till you get to my age. Once a month is what I consider an active s...
A Bride and Groom just married are on their honeymoon...
the first night getting ready to consummate the marriage the bride starts to undo her new husbands clothes.
She starts by taking of his shoes and socks. To her surprise, she sees that his toes all mangled and gnarly, and asks 'Good heavens what is wrong with your toes?!'
The Groom exp...
A 70 years oldman who has just married came to a doctor to check his sperm health.
The doctor took a jar and said "take this jar home, and return it tomorrow morning with your sperm sample inside"
On the next day, this oldman returned to the doctor and gave the jar. But the jar was still empty and no sperm at all inside it.
The doctor asked him why it's still empty a...
A man that had just married the most beautiful woman in town was drafted to go to war the next day
Not wanting that such beautiful woman would 'go to waste' if he was killed in battle he puts a chastity belt on her and gives his best friend the key to the belt making him promise he would ONLY take the belt off if the man was killed. The man boards the train that would take him to the battle f...
An 89 year old man goes to the urologist
"Doc," he says, "I need a vasectomy."
"A vasectomy? Why in the world would you need a vasectomy at your age?"
"Well doc, I just married a beautiful 22-year-old woman, and last night she told me she was pregnant! I can't have more kids at my age!"
The doc thought for a second an...
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