After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to the local grocery store. Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the follow...
The doctors surgically removed a Cancer from my wife last week
He was supposed to be a Leo, but she went into labor early.
(This joke is literally true - our due date was July 23 but she went into labor early and we had to have an emergency C-section on July 21st.)
On July 22nd I went to the hospital emergency room thinking I had a Cancer.
Labour took longer than expected however and instead I had a Leo on July 23rd
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Two men are walking through the desert and stumble across a big rock
- Hey, what a weird rock!
- Yes, it looks like a pyramid!
They both dig and discover a huge pyramid.
- Shit! It's a giant pyramid!
- What do we do with this?
- We should notify the American archaeological team. These people are professional and I'm sure they'l...
How many seconds are there in one year?
12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.
I heard you like reposts, so here's one from 114 years ago.
**TOWN AND COUNTRY**
The young woman who was boarding at the farmhouse expressed to the farmer her anxiety at the savage way in which the cow regarded her.
“It must be on account of that red blouse you’ve got on, miss,” answered the farmer.
“Dear me!” exclaimed the girl. “Of cou...