UPJOKE

Jokes And Jokes

The year is 2028 and r/jokes is going strong...

A new user gets on to r/jokes and sees the most upvoted joke just says "28"

The second most upvoted joke says "3915"

The third most upvoted joke says "756"

He can't see why they're getting so many upvotes, so he comments "These aren't jokes, they're numbers"

The admin rep...

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My grandpa loves jokes and over quarantine he sent us an extensive list of jokes. He called these ones groaners. Please enjoy. ( NSFW warning I don’t know how to tag it)

I lived in a houseboat for a while and started seeing the girl next door. Eventually, we drifted apart.



My boyfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of his Honda Civic. I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it is going to be on my own Accord.



A man tried to sell ...

I used to steal comedians' jokes and not credit them.

I still do, but I used to, too.

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.

While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.
The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint.
He walks into the livin...

(This is not a joke) I'm a linguistic researcher that is working on the semiotic of jokes and need help to find exemples of a particular type of joke.

Hi, I hope this is not against the rules but I need help for a research paper centered around jokes, and this obviously looks like a good place for that.

I am working on linguistic structuralism to try to find the linguistic value of surprise in a joke. (I'm simplifying a lot, but i can expla...

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What's the difference between my jokes and my dick?

No one laughs at my jokes

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What do jokes and U.S. Presidents have in common?

This one fucking sucks.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between /r/jokes and your mothers vagina?

Your mother's vagina gets some new content every once in a while.

What do dark jokes and kids with cancer have in common?

They never get old.

What’s the difference between Reddit jokes and gardening?

In gardening it’s compost

What is the difference between Chemistry jokes and Physics jokes?

The Chemistry jokes are told periodly,
while the Physics jokes have a lot of Potential.

People often ask why I’m so good at Dad jokes and it’s simple.

I take an ordinarily terrible pun and take it even father.

What's the difference between the jokes on r/jokes and a class full of antivax kids?

You won't see the kids again next year.

Mexican jokes and Black jokes are pretty much the same.

Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.

Dad jokes and Yo Mama jokes seem like they'd be the same

But the difference is a parent.

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If r/Jokes posts were like YouTube videos

Joke title: IS THIS THE WORLD'S FUNNIEST JOKE?

Hello welcome to my joke, this joke is sponsored by BackdooredVPN, get the VPN service for just $29.95 a month. Also sponsored by Microtransaction Legends, download the app for free today.

Before we share the joke we want to remind you tha...

What's the difference between /r/Jokes and /r/DadJokes?

Your dad always pretends you are funny, not just on your cake day.

What's the difference between dad jokes and bad jokes?

The first letter.



PS: as a dad I'm allowed.

So I have a thing for science jokes and there's this one joke about Sodium that I really love.

But then I was like Na, reddit probably won't get it

Two short jokes and one long joke...

Joke. Joke. Jooooke.

I used to copy Mitch Hedberg jokes and post them here.

I still do, but I used to too...

What's the difference between r/jokes and my wife?

My wife quit sucking years ago.

Teacher: "If I gave you 2 jokes and another 2 jokes, and another 2, how many would you have?"

Johnny: "Twelve."

Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two jokes, and another two jokes and another two, how many would you have?"

Johnny: "Twelve."

Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many ...

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What's the difference between 100,000 political jokes and a kid falling off a bike.

I still laugh every time I see a kid fall off a bike....
(For real this shit just ain't funny anymore fellas.)

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