What do you get when you cross a cat with poison ivey?
An itchy pussy!
Hindsight is 20/20...
Because this year there's nothing to look forward to.
After dinner I started to pack the dirty dishes into the dishwasher, when it suddenly started talking!
In a really dejected, pitiful voice it told me, "Don't bother pal, I'm useless. I'll never get that crusty lasagne off that pan. I'm terrible. The glassware will all have water spots by the time I'm done. I'm the worst appliance in this house!!"
I said, "What's wrong with you?!"