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Itches Jokes

If your palm itches you’re going to get something

If your crotch itches, you’ve already got it

Wanna hear a joke about itches?

Nevermind, scratch that.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Once there lived a horny man (NSFW)

There was once a horny man, who always wanted to suck the Queen's tits. He kept fantasizing, but he knew that he could never do it. He got a friend who was in the King's Palace, so he decided to ask him for help. The Friend agreed to help the horny man to fulfill his dream, but the horny man should ...

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Little Johnny's penis starts to itch while his mom registers him for summer camp...

...so he scratches the itch. The counselor and his mother both see this, and his mom chastises him.

"It's not appropriate to do that to yourself in public or private, honey. I don't wanna see you ever scratching yourself in public again."

"Okay mom." Johnny says.

Later, Little ...

Nosey zoologist

What did the monkey say to the zoologist when he saw him scratching himself?

Macaque itches.

Why do you keep scratching yourself?

Because I’m the only one who knows where it itches.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do noses run and feet smell?

I don't know, but my ass itches and my finger stinks.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and a woman were...

A man and a woman were having drinks at a business conference when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more. The man said, “Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we’re so obsessed with getting laid?” “That doesn’t prove anything,” the woman countered. “Think about thi...

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Little Johnny was scratching down there...

One day in class the teacher looks over to little Johnny and sees him scratching his downstairs under the table,

She walks over to him and says, Johnny what are you doing you shouldn't be scratching down there.

Johnny replies but miss it's hurting down there and it itches so bad I can...

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An angry man walked into a Taverna one evening, and yelled "I hate the Greeks!"

He looked around, at the light blue wall paper, with the white Grecian key pattern going around the top. He stared into the eyes of the bar tender, a strapping young lad with an olive complexion, rich black hair, a glorious unibrow, and piercing green eyes.

"Are you a Greek?" he asked, menaci...

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There was a little boy named Buttitches

His very first day at school the teacher asks him what his name is.

"What's your name?"

"Buttitches."

"Haha, very funny, what is your name?"

"Buttitches."

"Listen child, tell me your real name or I'm sending you to the principal."

"Buttitches."

"Princ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man had lost one of his arms in an accident.

One day he felt terribly depressed and decided to commit suicide. He got into an elevator and went to the top of a building to jump off.

He was standing on the ledge looking down and saw this man skipping along, whistling and kicking up his heels. He looked closer and saw this man didn't hav...

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