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Irish Bar Jokes

A Texan walks into an Irish bar...

A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back to back."

The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan's of...

Max Clifford, Jimmy Saville and Rolf Harris walk into an Irish bar in hell

“Oh no” says the barman. “Not Yewtree again”

An American walks into an Irish bar.

While on vacation, an American walks into an Irish pub and orders a drink. After a minute he says out loud, "I'll bet anyone in here $1,000 if they can take 10 shots of Jameson in a row, without stopping or vomiting." The bar gets quiet except for one man who gets up and walks out. The American laug...

A man walks into the Irish bar

The barman says:

-I am deeply sorry sir, but the bar is closed, it will open within the hour only.

-Ok, nevermind, I'll wait - responds the man

-Sure, no problem sir. By the way, would you like a drink to make waiting not so boring?

An American visits an Irish bar.

Having heard about the drinking habits of the Irish he challenges the Irish:
"I'll give 100$ if any of you can drink 10 pints back-to-back!!"

No one takes the bet, but a man leaves immediately.
After 30 minutes the man returns, approaches the American and asks if the bet is still up. Th...

A ninja, a priest and a rabbi walk into an Irish bar.



The bartender says, “Good to see you two!”

A man walks into an Irish bar...

A man walks into an Irish bar and orders a tall glass of Guinness. The leprechaun next to him turns and says, “Can I borrow a dollar?? I’m a little short.”

Irish bar joke

An Irishman leaves the bar

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Irish bar

A drunk Irishman sitting at a bar starts talking to the gentleman next to him.

'Where you from?' He asks the stranger.

'Born and raised in Dublin, Ireland." The stranger says raising his glass.

'Get the fuck out of here, I was born and raised in Dublin also!" The man cries in s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two men walk into an Irish bar, one of them pushing a wheelbarrow full of body parts...

When the bartender sees this the bartender exclaims "Jesus Christ, Murphy, what in God's name is that?"

Murphy replies "Don't you recognize me old pal Smitty?"

"Well what the hell happened to him?"

Murphy sighs "Well me and Smitty and Mickey here we're walking down the street ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An American woman uses the toilet at an Irish bar.

She complains to the barman that there is no lock on the door.

The barman says "My grandfather opened this bar, then passed it to my father who passed it to me."

The woman rudely cuts him off and says "what does that have to do with having a lock on the door?"

The barman replie...

Three "plus size" women walk into an Irish bar, and order 3 Bwrz Fynt's

The bartender says, "I can't understand what you said."

One of the girls says, "I'm sorry, we're from Wales."

The bartender replies, "That explains everything."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On St. Patrick's day, a guy in an Irish bar goes into the bathroom to take a piss.

Next to him, there's a really short guy, wearing all green, with a top hat and a pipe. He also has a huge dick.

First guy notices and says, "I'd do anything to have a dick that big."

Short guy says, "I'm a leprechaun. I'll grant you your wish, if you suck my dick."

The gu...

A priest begins to wonder if his religion is really the only ‘true’ religion. In his search he finds an Internet forum with like mined faith/spiritual seekers, and quickly befriends a Jewish Rabbi, and a Buddhist monk.

The three debate for months, with no real progression as such, until a post appears from a new user, claiming to be the purest, living descendant of Adam & Eve. He further claims, that to those who truly believe, he will grant the secret to human evolution.
All but the monk immediately dismi...

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