UPJOKE

Introduce Yourself Jokes

I told this joke today when asked to stand up and introduce yourself to the group, and say something interesting about yourself ...

So this guy dies and goes to hell. He finds himself in a nice room with a group of other people. Satan stands up and says, "Welcome to Hell!" The guy thinks to himself, "well, this doesn't seem so awful." Then Satan says, "I'd like each of you to introduce yourself, and tell us something interes...

What's the worst way to introduce yourself to a seasoning?

Cumin side her.

What is the worst way to introduce yourself to a vegan?

Hi, nice to meat you.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bob is driving home when he sees a sign; "Talking dog for sale"...

...wondering if he's read it correctly, he pulls over and gets out to read it again. Sure enough, it says "Talking dog for sale", and having nowhere to be decides to go in.

Bob knocks on the door, and well dressed man answers; "Yes?". "I'm here about the 'talking dog'. What does he say; 'Roo...

The year is 1835...

The year is 1835, you’re traversing the Oregon Trail. You and your horse come upon a man, you introduce yourself, and he tells you his name is Terry. You laugh at him, and tell him Terry is a woman’s name. He shoots you point blank.

You’ve died of Dissin’ Terry

A man with a speech impediment goes on a dating website..

This dating website has you make a short video for your profile to introduce yourself, so the man makes his video and says "Hi my name's Daniel and im Deaf"

The man successfully scores a date with a woman who happens to know sign language

That night he shows up to the date and to his d...

What should you do if you see a space man?

~~Park your car, man.~~

Introduce yourself and tell him it’s funny because he just reminded you of this time you posted a joke about a ‘space man’ on Reddit and you thought everyone was going to love it but then you found out it had been posted about six trillion times already but you didn’t ...

Its time for class, Ms. Smith noticed a few empty seats, 3 students were late.

"Good morning everyone, we have a new student to greet today, his name is Timmy, although he appears to be late."

Just then, Jen walks into class "sorry im late Ms. Smith, I lost track of time while blowing bubbles."
"That's okay Jen, just dont make a habit out of it okay?" Ms. Smith repli...

Back when Einstein was giving lectures to Universities, he traveled by car.

During one journey to a certain university, his driver remarked "Dr. Einstein, I have heard you deliver that lecture over 20 times. I know it by heart and I am certain I could give it myself."

Einstein thought for a bit and replied "Well, I'll give you the chance. They don't know me at the ne...

My wife and I were walking down the street.

My wife and I were walking down the street when she spotted the mayor of our town.
"You should go introduce yourself" she said.

I replied "I have known him for years why should I?"

"You do not know the mayor!" she exclaimed. It was then that we walked up and talked to the mayor fo...

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