UPJOKE

In The Movies Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Make love to me like in the movies

My girlfriend and I were having sex the other day when she looked at me and said, "Make love to me like in the movies."

So I fucked her in the ass, pulled out, and came all over her face and hair.

I guess we don't watch the same movies.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW: My wife said she wanted to have sex like they do in the movies...

So I pushed her against the wall, grabbed her hair from behind and drilled her up the shitter. Turns out we watch different movies.

Made love to the wife last night, just like they do in the movies.

I was fast, she was furious.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The problem with sex in the movies is,

that the popcorn usually spills.

A wife comes to her husband and says:

\- Darling, let's make love like in the movies.

\- Of course love! - the husband says eagerly and begins.

Once he finishes, she looks at him and says:

\- Yes, darling, looks like you and I (*wipes her face*) are watching very different movies.

I always cry at the same point in the movies.

Right at the ticket window.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife asked me to make love to her like they do in the movies.

So I stuck it up her arse and then came on her face while shouting "TAKE THAT, BITCH!".

From the look on her face I'd hazard a guess that we don't watch the same films.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I wish my life could play out like it does in the movies...

Pornos count as movies right? Because if not, I'm taking back that wish.

Getting the girl isn't as easy as they make it look in the movies.

They don't trip as often, and when you do catch up they get the machete away from you. :\

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] My Wife Asked if we could do it like in the movies......

So I pushed her over the end of the sofa and lifted her dress, pulled her panties to the side and spat on her arsehole before shoving my cock in her, and when I was ready to cum ripped my dick from her arse and shot all over her face.

Apparently we watch different movies.

The character of Nearly Headless Nick was a bit of a letdown in the Harry Potter movies.

In the books, he had so much more development, including an entire deathday party. In the movies though, he was just so badly executed.

I just heard Matthew McConaughey is teaching a class at the University of Texas this fall. His lucky students are excited because he's promised to reveal all the secrets of how he made it big in the movies. Which sounds awesome, but...

I hear the class is *just* "Alright, alright, alright."

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.