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A communist spy and an American spy are camping out in opposite buildings on Moscow.

Each one knows the other is there but thinks the other does not know that they are there. After hours of spying each one decides they need to go out for some fresh air. However, since both would be easily recognized they decide to put on disguises. The Communist, a female, puts on an elaborate mal...

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6 Inches

So there's this fish. He's swimming in a pond when he looks up and sees this fly buzzing around above the water. The fish thinks to himself, "hmm, if that fly comes down just 6 inches, I can jump up there and have myself a nice little meal."

Off in the distance a bear spots the the fish. ...

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I'm about 80% Deaf

\(This was written with a delivery in mind. Line breaks are very brief pauses. Also yes, I'm really 80% Deaf\)

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When you're 80% Deaf, you ...

A woman whose husband had entered the Navy, gave the pastor of her church a note just as he was mounting to the pulpit one Sunday morning.

The note said “John Anderson, having gone to sea, his wife desires the prayers of the congregation for his safety.”
The minister in haste picked up the slip and read aloud,
“John Anderson having gone to see his wife, desires the prayers of the congregation for his safely”.

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