Imagin Jokes - 56 Hilarious Imagin Jokes

Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight.

There would be mass confusion.

Andrew Tate says his Romanian jail is infested with lice. "Can you imagine sharing a cell with vile parasites?"

Say the lice.

Imagine asking a blind girl out in braille

and she leaves you on felt

Imagine the uproar if Blazing Saddles was made today.

People would say "this is plagiarism, make your own movie".

This week in DC, Mark Zuckerberg is currently doing the hardest thing imaginable.

He’s explaining Facebook to old people.

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Imagine if your roommate made you watch a movie and left 10 mins into it. Dick move, right?

My point is old people shouldn't get to vote

I like to imagine that the guy who invented the umbrella was going to call it the brella.

But he hesitated.

Could you imagine if trump actually moved the files from govt servers to a private server?

That would be Hillaryous.

Edit: My first reddit silver! Thank you kindly!

Edit2: reddit gold?! You all are too good to me!

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Will Smith had to stand up for Jada. Imagine how hard it is knowing your wife can't have her hair

pulled during sex with other men

Imagine the guy who invented maple syrup...

Hey this tree tastes way better than the last 10 trees I sucked!

If you think your life is scary, just imagine being a birthday cake.

Someone starts a fire right above your head, and then everyone starts singing.

Can you imagine Jesus doing a crossword puzzle?

And getting stuck on 2 across..

Imagin you are walking along the boardwalk in New Jersey when you see an anti-vaxxer and a flat-earther drowning in the ocean...

do you grab dinner before you go to the movies or see the movie first?

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Imagine telling someone you're bisexual.

Pessimist: That doubles the number of people who are going to reject you.

Optimist: That doubles the number of people you can date.

Realist: 2 times 0 is still 0.

School students are taught that lying is a sin. However, instructions also advise that using a bit of imagination was OK to express the truth differently without lying. Below is a perfect example of those teachings.

An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?"

"Of course child. What may I do for you?"

"Well, I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday. It is unopened but well over the Customs limits and I'm afraid they...

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"Imagine the class is naked!"

Didn't work, now I'm nervous and I have a boner.

Being the teacher doesn't make it any better.

Imagine mario teaching music

Student: keeps making the same mistake at the same spot*

Mario: “Mama mia, for the hundredth time it’s a mi”

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Can you imagine getting 72 virgin when you go to heaven?

The first half-dozen or so will be nice, but after that, I'm going to want a pro.

Imagine a man, lying down...

... as men are prone to do

Imagine the Titanic with a Lisp

It's unthinkable

Imagine coming home getting in bed with your girlfriend

you tell her a joke and the guy under the bed starts laughing

Could you imagine if Steve Jobs first name was blow

His current business model would suck.

There's 26 letters in the English language, combined to make millions of words, which are used to make infinite sentences for any event imaginable. . .

Yet I see the same jokes posted every day.

Imagine you were friends with Oasis lead singer, Liam Gallagher.

You two grew up together and were the best of friends. That friendship was like no other.

You both bonded over many things, but the hobby you both got into was baseball. You’d both play catch, practice your pitches, and even went to watch pro games together.

During high school, y...

Imagine people still calling it pound rather...

The #metoo movement would be such a weird to get behind...

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Imagine having 12 boobs

Sounds weird dozen tit?

Imagine that the next US president is a married woman

Would we call her husband a first ladyboy?

pls laugh I'm so depressed

Imagine a Coin Machine, that doesn't make coins.

It doesn't make any cents!

Imagine missing a payment on a TESLA,

and the car drives itself back to the dealership.

A death toll too high to imagine

On September 29th 2006 President George W. Bush receives a briefing from one of his staff

"Mr. President, we've just received reports of a commercial plane crash in south America, 154 Brazilian people died."

"Oh my God, that's terrible..." The president replies solemnly, thinking quiet...

I never imagined Chris Rock getting slapped on national television…

But I guess if there’s a Will, there’s a way.

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Just imagine life without women...

It'd be a pain in the butt!

Imagine if your cell phone battery was on ten percent and it lasted for eight days..

Congratulations. You understand Hanukkah.

Today I thought of a color that doesn't exist...

but then I realized it was just a pigment of my imagination.

Imagine this

You're watching a movie late at night in your house, when suddenly you hear a noise. You walk downstairs to investigate. You hear a sound coming from the outside of your door. You hear:

"Hello, this is the lockpickinglawyer, and today I'll be showing you how to open a Prime-Line Chain Door Gu...

Imagine this, you’re in a queue to be hit in the face

That’s the punch line

If your surprised that Jeffrey Epstein commited suicide this morning

Imagine how surprised he must have been.

Imagine dating a bodybuilder and...

It doesn't work out. :)

My girlfriend left a note on my PS4 today. My heart stopped beating because it said "This isn't working"

Imagine my relief when I turned it on and it worked just fine.

Imagine America's best dentists competing against each other in fixing dental problems

We'll call the show "Top Gum"

Imagine if jesus had been born a Siamese twin...

...it would have been the perfect double cross!

Imagine a pirate with a prosthetic breast.

That’d be funny, wooden tit

What do you call an imaginative astronaut?

A spacer

Imagine eating a clock...

That'd be time consuming.

Imagine finally surviving Covid19...

then China just releases Covid19S Plus Pro Max.

Imagine if Elon Musk got married to Bill Gates and took his name...

Yeah no, you're right... 'Elon Gates' is a stretch.

Imagine how happy barn owls were ....

when people finally started making barns.

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I think, I'm going to lose my drivers license and all just because of a stupid police officer...

The conversation went like this, when I got pulled over in my car:

Officer: "License and registration, please, I think you are drunk!"

Me: "I assure you, I did not drink anything."

Officer: "Ok, let's do a little test! Imagine driving in the dark on a highway at night, when you ...

When my girlfriend sits on the photocopier and farts...

she's Imagin Poots

Vegans will be the first to invent intergalactic travel

Imagine living in the Milky Way

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Imagine having sex with a genuine tree nymph.

That'd be strange. Wooden tit.

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Can you Imagine?

Can you imagine stuffing pictures of your grandmother in a strippers G string?

Imagine you are Prince Harry

History is a lot like Imagine Dragons...

It's repetitive, never really good, and somehow only getting worse.

Imagine being in a room

Imagine being completely naked in a room where everyone is several times your height, everyone speaks a foreign language, and they all want to touch you.

This is the life of a dog.

Imagine if roosters laid eggs.

So many dad yolks at our disposal.

Police have arrested the World tongue-twister Champion.

I imagine he'll be given a tough sentence.

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