UPJOKE

Im Straight Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy walks into a bar...

...and sees a gorgeous woman nursing a drink. Walking up behind her he says: "Hi there, good lookin'. How's it going?"
Having already downed a few power drinks, she turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and says: "Listen up, buddy. I screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A kitten walks into a bar and yells to the bartender "I'm an alcoholic! I'm going to get black out drunk! So get me a double whiskey and tonic!"

The bartender warns, "I've told you before I can't serve you that!"

The kitten replies, "Don't be a pussy!"

The bartender slides him a drink. The kitten slams it down and passes out.

A patron asks the bartender, "Did you really give a kitten a whiskey and tonic?"

The bart...

Favorite Amphibian Joke

I'm sure many of you have heard this, but it's one of my favorite frog jokes:

A man walks into a bar with a large frog growing out of his forehead. The bartender couldn't help staring at it, finally he had to ask: "Where did that come from?" The frog looked him straight in the eyes and croake...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teenager was hungry and his mother told him to go find something in the kitchen to eat.

After banging around for a few minutes, he yelled "There isn't shit to eat in this house!"

His father heard this and went into the kitchen saying "First of all, watch your language. Second of all, there is lots to eat if you just look. He took his son to the pantry and pointed things out. "Se...

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