I have an insane crush on my old manager and just want to tell him.

If you're reading this Seth please check the subreddit and stop stalking my account here.

Where do Chinese babies come from?

VaChina.

Mom and Dad, if you're reading this, I'm...

A clownfish swims into an underwater ocean bar.

If you're reading this, you've been in a coma for almost 10 years now. We're trying a new technique. We don't know where this message will end up in your dream, but we hope we're getting through.

Just realized what I'm putting on my tombstone.

If you're reading this, I'm already dead.

MISSING: Black and white cat with red collar. Very intelligent.

Mittens, if you're reading this, please come home.

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