UPJOKE

If She Ain't Jokes

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A redneck finds out his girlfriend is a virgin...

A redneck finds out his girlfriend is a virgin. Upon hearing this, he stands up, turns away from her, and leaves without a word.

Later, when his buddies at the bar ask what went wrong, he explains...

"If she ain't good enough for her daddy, her uncle, her brother, and her cousin, she a...

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A redneck is on his honeymoon about to make love, when his wife says...

"Wait, honey, there's somethin' I need you to know. I'm a virgirn"
"WHAT THE FUCK?" The man shouts, and he punches her in the face, knocks her out. He wraps her in the bedsheets, drags her down the stairs and out the door, throws her into the back of his pickup truck, and drives on over to her da...

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The Redneck Honeymoon

A guy redneck and a girl redneck just got married. It's the night of the honeymoon and the guy's parents come home to find their son sitting there on the couch.

"Son, what are you doing here? Tonight's your honeymoon, you should be with your bride."

The son looks up forlornly, with tea...

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Redneck boy meets his dream girl!

A young boy comes home to his father one day after school.

"Dad, I met the most INCREDIBLE girl in the world today. She's smart, she's beautiful, AND she's funny."

Dad pats his son on the back and walks him into the kitchen, "That's great, son. I'm proud of you for finding someone yo...

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A couple from Alabama get married...

They go off to Las Vegas for their honeymoon. Once they get settled in their hotel room, they start getting ready for their big night.

The guy comes out of the shower and starts walking towards her on the bed. She says, "This is my first time so be gentle". He get all kinds of angry, gets dre...

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A back woods West Virgina man gets engaged.

He rushes home to tell his dad.

"Pa! I met me a woman and we's gonna marry!" His dad replies, "Well, tell me 'bout her!" The son says, "She's beautiful, nice, an a virgin!" At the news the father is visibly upset, "No you ain't gon marry you no virgin! If she ain't good nuff fer her family, s...

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Why did the redneck dump his girlfriend after finding out she's a virgin?

If she ain't good enough for her family, she ain't good enough for me.

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Two old farmers were talking in a restaurant.

One says to the other "We hadda send my son's wife back ta her fambly"
The other says "How come?"
The first farmer replied " found out she was a virgin, and if she ain't good enough fur her own fambly she damsure ain't good enough for mine"

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A hillbilly couple get married...

and spend the honeymoon night at her folks' cabin. The next morning, the boys' father walks outside and the boy is back home sitting on his folks' porch. The father asks, "Where's your bride, boy?" The kid says, "Ah done left her, Pa." The old man says, "Now why did you go and do that for?" The kid ...

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An Alamaba boy married a Mississippi girl

On their wedding night the girl says to her husband "please be gentle in a virgin."

The man became disgusted and walked out of the house. Later at dinner he tells his family what happened.

"You made the right choice" said his father "if she ain't good enough for her brothers she sure ...

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A feller from Arkansas went to Tennessee.

While he was there he met a girl and they fell in love. Eventually they got married and went on their honeymoon. They are about to do the deed when she tells him she is a virgin, that she has saved herself for him. He gets flustered and doesn't know what to do, so he gets up and goes back home to...

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A redneck couple from West Virginia get married..

That night, they stay in a cheap motel. Just as they're about to consummate the marriage, the woman says- "Be gentle- it's my first time."

The new husband gets dressed and storms home to tell his parents the devastating news:

"You did the right thing, son", says his father. "If she a...

A redneck won't let his son marry the girl down the way...

He told his son, "If she ain't good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for you."

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Her Family

A guy from Arkansas goes to New York for the first time and meets the woman of his dreams. She happily agrees when he asks her to marry him, and they go down to Arkansas to plan the wedding.

At the wedding, her brother tells the groom "You'd better be gentle with her, she's a virgin..."
...

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Alabama Wedding

Deep in the heart of Alabama, a son arrives to his father's house with exciting news.

"Paw, I met the best girl in the world, and we're about to get married!"

The father seems excited, and urges his son to describe her.

"Well, she's quick as a whip, funny as a bone, most gorg...

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