If I Had A Dollar Jokes

I would have enough money to unlock half of the Battlefront 2 heroes without having to grind them.

They’d eventually find me attractive

I'd have a mean daily income of $5.64 with a standard deviation of $1.25

Then I could afford a house in the economy they ruined.

I could almost afford a small popcorn.

Edit: With all the complaining in the comments I could add a drink as well.

Nah cheers guys. Sorry about the cost of movie food. It’s the CEO’s fault not the person behind the counter. Please stop yelling at us. We are very small and we have no m... read more

Does money even matter?

I would have one dollar... thanks mom...

I'd have 77 cents

...I could pay that fine I got for indecent exposure.

I'd already have a quarter by the time you finished reading this....

But, That's just my 2 cents.

Which is funny because if it did work, I'd also have 0$

I’d have so many hotwheels

I would start thinking about you

I'd probably get robbed by a black guy.

I’d be able to afford a better mattress

I would have around 15 dollars and a lot of photocopied money.

I could almost afford a small popcorn.

I’d have $6.48.

it wouldn't matter because currency is a social construct and life is meaningless

I'd have a small loan of a million dollars.

It’s not because I’m attractive it’s because girls won’t talk to me

To get to the other side

... then I probably wouldn’t be complaining about capitalism.

I could pay someone to write better material

I'd have enough money to pay for the eye surgery I need now!

... I’d be rich enough to afford a test.

By now, they’d think I looked pretty good.

...I could fix the economy they broke.

For every time I disappointed my family, I would have enough to make them proud.

I’d be able to buy her a treadmill she’d never use.

I'd be broke cause no one ever calls me

I wish I had some ice cream

I'd be walking around with so much cash, I'd probably get mugged by some random black guy.

If I had a dollar for every time a homeless person asked for change, I would still pretend to have not heard them.

I’d be making 99 cents per homeless person I found

...I'd have $0.77 cents.

If I had a dollar for every time an idea got shot down in the meeting because "We don't have the budget", I would finally have the money to execute that idea.

I would have a small loan of a million dollars.