Ned & Fred were building a house. Ned was putting up siding. He would take a nail out of his pouch, inspect it, sometimes hammer it in, other times, toss it into the trash.
Fred saw this, went over and said "What are you doing, tossing out perfectly good nails!?"
Ned explained, ...
It’s 1990, I told my idiot brother to take some money and buy a color TV
He came back home and asked “what color”
3 idiot brothers are trying out for a job as a police detective...
so the officer gives them a test. They are given a side profile head shot of a robber and they are asked how they will recognize him outside. The first brother says, 'This guy has only one eye', the officer sighs and says that it only looks that way since its a shot of his profile and fires him ...
Last Thanksgiving, I cut my hand with the carving knife so my idiot brother-in-law grabs my bloody wound and starts twisting it. I screamed, “Ouch! What are you doing!!”
He said, “I’m applying a turn-a-cut.”
A woman was about to give birth at a hospital.
Her husband couldn't make it, but her two idiot brothers showed up to comfort her. The woman passed out right after giving birth to a boy and a girl. When she woke up, she saw her two children laying right next to her.
She told the doctor, "I'm ready to name my two children now."
The d...
A husband and wife are expecting twins
A husband and wife are expecting twins; she's pregnant with a girl and a boy. A couple of weeks before her due date, the wife is hanging out with her brother at home and suddenly has shooting pains in her abdomen. Her husband is out of town for work, so she has her brother drive her straight to the ...
A pregnant woman got in a car wreck and went into a coma.
While in the coma, she gave birth to twins.
4 months later she woke up asking where her kids were.
The nurse informed her she had given birth to twins, a boy and a girl, and her brother has been taking care of them.
The woman said "Oh no, not my idiot brother. What did he name ...
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