UPJOKE

Identify As Jokes

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I identify as a microwave dinner

I'm done in five minutes and look nothing like the picture

I now identify as invisible

Although I was born visible, I am now trans-parent. My pronouns are who/where

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i identify as a donkey

my pronouns are he/haw

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I identify as a brick.

I’m always hard and I’ve only ever been laid once.

I was born male, I identify as male, but according to Sainsbury's Deluxe Sticky Toffee Pudding....

I'm a family of four.

I told my shrink I identify as a dog

He made me get off the couch

I now identify as boring.

My preferred pronouns are ho/hum.

What does current AI identify as?

If/Then

I identify as a snack.

Sometimes I'm sweet, sometimes I'm salty, but I'm always delicious.

How do you know all suicide bombers self identify as being old?

They are all boomers in the end

If I'm fat but identify as slim

Does that mean I am trans slender?

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I identify as a tri-...

I try to have , but I fail.

What do computers identify as?

Binary

What do you call bread that doesn’t identify as male or female?

Naan-binary.

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What would a bisexual television identify as?

Part of the LG TV OLED 4K+ community

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I identify as Counter Strike...

*And I'm globally offended*

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I identify as a spaghetti.

Straight until wet.

I Identify as Italy in the 1600’s

Baroque

What pronouns does a Chicagoan use to identify as non-binary?

Dey or dem

I identify as an ambulance

My pronouns are wee/woo

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I identify as a Lootbox

I won’t tell you what I’m hiding, it costs too much to open me up, and once you do it’s probably not going to be what you want

I identify as an elongated fish...

People say im mentally eel

What does Iron Man Identify as?

A FE Male

Why does the chocolateer identify as female?

Her/she

Can some please explain to me what it means to identify as queer

Because looked it up and there were no straight answers

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I identify as a measure of kilometers per second

Because I really want to KM/S

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Why do people identify as non-binary?

Otherwise it's just 1's and 0's.

The United Kingdom is to provide special support to those self-identify as gnomes, fairies or pixies...

It'll be known as the National Elf Service.

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I identify as a female

I keep trying to convince my family that Im not a guy, but alas

I think I identify as a church roof.

I'm beginning to tran-spire

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I identify as a vacuum

Because my life

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I identify as a toaster

You put bread in me and it comes out brown.

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I identify as drywall

I love getting plastered!

I identify as Giantkin.

My pronouns are Phe/Phi/Pho/Phum and i'd like you to respect them please.

So if someone decides to identify as a monk...

Does this mean they’re *transcendent?*

I Identify as a chair

Why, because I have nice legs and want girls to sit on me

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I identify as a measurement of speed

Cuz I'm a loner and wanna km/s

What do you mean I can't identify as a television?

Just watch me!

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I identify as a 41 million square mile body of salt water

Im trans-atlantic

Many of my tumblr friends identify as otherkin. Be it wolfkin, eaglekin or yes even fantasykin. I myself identify as a jedi.

So I'm forcekin.

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I identify as half Democrat and half Republican

I'm bipartisan

I'm stressed. Sometimes I identify as a tipi. Other times as a marquee.

My psychiatrist says I shouldn't worry though, I'm just being too tense.

If you’re skinny but identify as a fat person...

Would that make you a trans-fat?

What do PC Master Race people identify as politically?

The Alt-Tab.

I identify as an employee wherever I go.

Now I can use any bathroom I need to.

You think you're special because you suddenly don't identify as male or female?

The Siberian Orchestra has identified as 'trans' for over 20 years.

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I identify as a giant..

..my pronouns are Fee, Fi, Fo, and Fum

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I identify as a pansexual

And I have a fetish for cast-iron

What does Darth Vader identify as on Tumblr?

Ana-kin

My kids began ignoring me so much that I feel invisible...

Now I identify as trans-parent.

Trump Supporters are demanding to join the LGBTQ+ community.

They say they identify as Non-Bidenary
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