UPJOKE

Identifies As Jokes

I don’t care if Caitlin Jenner identifies as a woman,

but April identifying as January is crossing the line.

My tinder match said she identifies as a matador

That's a red flag for me

I started dating a girl who identifies as a wheelie bin.

I can’t remember if I’m taking her out Wednesday or Thursday night.

My friend Susan identifies as a man and changed his name yesterday.

Susan be Anthony.

What do you call a parasitic twin that identifies as female

Your cyster

Bud light has always been trans...

It's water that identifies as beer.

My son identifies as a crescent moon.

I hope it's just a phase.

My daughter says she now identifies as a small group of words that have a collective meaning

Should I be worried, or is it just a phrase?

What do you call a tomato that self-identifies as a carrot?

A transplant.

A guy I met told me he identifies as the brightest star in the night sky…

I said- “Are you Sirius?”

My Mother informed me today that she now identifies as my father.

I thanked her for being transparent.

What are the pronouns for someone who identifies as an attack helicopter?

Apache/Apachim

Did you hear Eminem identifies as a woman?

He's now going by Feminen.

So I have a morbidly obese friend, but he identifies as skinny.

He’s trans slender

What do you call someone who identifies as Eric?

Generic

My grandson identifies as a waning moon.

I can’t see much of my sun in him.

What do you call a fat person who identifies as skinny?

A trans-slender.

My Dad has said he identifies as invisible

He's transparent

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What pronouns does a person who sexualy identifies as Michael Jackson use?

He/heee

My son recently told me that he identifies as a woman

He’s planning on going through treatments to become a full blown woman.
I am 100% supportive of this and wish him the best with all of his decisions.

But, ever since he’s came out to me, I’ve noticed that people seem to not notice me.
It started small with people not seeing me and bu...

My daughter identifies as a small group of words standing together as a conceptual unit, typically forming a component of a clause.

Should I be worried or is it just a phrase?

Help! My son admitted to us that he identifies as a crescent. What do I do?

My wife says it’s just a phase...

What do you call a circuit board that identifies as a different electronic component?

A transistor

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just bought a Pontiac that sexually identifies as a Ferrari

It's a Trans Am

Date.

I've got a date with a Lady who self identifies as a trash can...

But I can't remember if I'm taking her out on Tuesday or Wednesday

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a redhead who identifies as the opposite sex?

Transginger.

My friend told me he is attracted to Christmas trees and people in animal costumes

He identifies as a douglas furry

An Iditerod racer took a sled dog to the vet. "He's acting very strange," said the dog owner. "He encourages the other dogs to hump him. Other than that, he's perfectly normal and a great musher. Should I be worried?"

"Not at all," said the vet. "He just identifies as female. What you have here is a Trans Siberian Husky."

My Dad’s my Mum

A few days ago my dad (I guess mum now) came out as a woman, so she identifies as a trans female now. I couldn’t be happier for her but it’s really taken a strain on our relationship, like she’s know for a long time but just didn’t trust that anyone would respect her decision. Only recently has she ...

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