UPJOKE

I Wonder If Jokes

I wonder if Buzz and woody had ever met Andy's mom's toys.

They probably have the same names

I wonder if Kevin Spacey's trial will be postponed.

I mean with the SAG strike, he can't act innocent.

I wonder if tap dancers walk into a room

look at the floor and think, "Id tap that"

I wonder if colorblind people

Read colorado as just "ado"

Sometimes I wonder if I'm too arrogant.

Then I think to myself “There’s no way. I’m too good for that.”

I wonder if old houseflies tell the younger ones stories like:

"Back in my day, it was Monday".

"I wonder what he's thinking... I wonder if he likes me... I wonder if he thinks I'm fat..."

- Wonder Woman

(- Katherine Ryan)

I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say

"Hey look! That one is shaped like an idiot!"

I wonder if the Earth . . .

Makes fun of the Moon for having no life.

I wonder if..

What if the ocean is salty because the land never waves back?

I wonder if the receptionist at the sperm bank ever uses the phrase

“Thanks for coming!”

I wonder if...

I wonder if Michael Jackson's pronouns were He/Him or He/Hee.

I Wonder if Soy Milk

Is just regular milk introducing itself in spanish?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I wonder if she got mileage points?

So a woman goes to the Ob/Gyn.

Ob: What brings you in today?
Patient: Uhm... I’ve been finding Costa Rican postage stamps in my vagina.
Ob: You’ve been finding what, where?!
Patient: Costa Rican postage stamps in my vagina...
Ob: Have you BEEN to Costa Rica?
Patient: No!
Ob...

I wonder if eating ants will prevent you from getting covid.

They got anty bodies

I wonder if people find polyamory to be selfish.

I mean, you can have your Kate and Edith too.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I wonder if that's mine

I was walking down the street one morning and saw a black man running holding a television. I thought to my self "I wonder if that's mine", so I hurried back home quickly but it was still there, shining my shoes.

Sometimes I wonder if the entire world is full of defensive, conceited douchebags who can't laugh at themselves...

Then I read some Reddit comments and I'm almost certain of it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I wonder if my Thai girlfriend has a penis?

Something inside tells me "yes".

I wonder if Spider-Man has done any web design

He would be good at it

Two English tourists were driving through Wales.At Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantysiliogogogoch they stopped for lunch they asked the waitress: “Before we order, I wonder if you could settle an argument.Can you pronounce where we are,very,very,slowly?"

The girl leaned over and said:

“Burrr… gurrr… King.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I wonder if Samuel L Jackson has sent his father...

...a 'Happy Motherfuckers Day' card today.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I wonder if Adam ever thought to himself...

"I'm the sexiest guy on the planet right now."

I wonder if the first person to pop popcorn suddenly had the urge to...

watch a movie.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I wonder if Jesus ever took a really really big poop,

turned around and was like "holy shit!"

I wonder if deaf schizophrenic people hear voices...

I never asked them

Gee, I wonder if SARS-CoV-2 mutated to the point where it could infect birds...

I guess you could call the disease it causes "CO*R*VID-19," eh?

I wonder if the US will ever have Mexican History Month.

Juan Day... Juan Day...

I wonder if church musicians and surgeons ever hang out

They could just chill and talk about organs

I wonder if my mom still remembers how to slap me into next week

I could use my paycheck early.

I wonder if JFK ever thought about how he'd die.

At least I know a bullet crossed his mind.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sometimes I wonder if it's even worth my time to masturbate

I mean, nuttin's going to come of it.

I wonder if anyone here can help me. Yesterday someone stole my father's favorite playing cards.

I think there were about fifty-two of them. All of them had a picture of someone riding a bicycle on one side of them, but on the other side they had different things, like letters and numbers. Some of them had some pictures of some kings and queens and other people. I know there were some red he...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I wonder if flat earthers refer to people who think the world is round as...

'Circle Jerks.'

Sometimes I wonder if I could kill someone, like do I have it in me to take a human life.. And then I remember...

Oh yeah, Debbie.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Sometimes I wonder if you even remember what my face looks like,"

said my girlfriend's tits.

I wonder if they got jokes in Russia about "capitalistic America"...

In capitalistic America, bank robs you!

I wonder if when Trump said he was a stable genius he was referring to knowing a lot about horses...

Cause he's not very smart.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend hoarded five pallets of toilet paper rolls but ran out of money for food and medicine. Then he says “I wonder if toilet paper is edible?”...

Ass King for a friend...

Moses and Jesus are sitting in a boat on a lake.

Moses turns to Jesus and says, “You know, I wonder if I’ve still got it.” He stands up and spreads his arms out wide. On command, the waters of the lake part, and the boat settles on the ground. He brings his arms back in, and the water comes rushing back, lifting the boat back to the surface.
<...

A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork, and was burned out.

Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic.

He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could. When the time of the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican NSFW

When the Pope answers the door, Dopey steps forward and nervously asks "Your Excellency, I wonder if you could tell me if there are any dwarf nuns in Rome?"

"No Dopey, I don't think there are," the Pope replies.

The other six dwarfs start to giggle.

"Well, are there any dwarf ...

There's a dog walking in the jungle.

Being a dog, he has amazing hearing, and heard a leopard sneaking up on him. He found a bone and starts chewing on it and remarks rather loudly "that was a tasty leopard, I wonder if there's anymore around here!" The leopard, startled by the comment, leaves in a hurry. Meanwhile up in the trees, a m...

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Three drunk guys walk into a brothel...

The madam sees them and tells the girls, “just use blow-up sex dolls, they are so wasted they won’t know the difference”. So the three guys find themselves in their rooms with a girl, so the deed, and walk out. The first guy says, “those girls were odd”. The second says, “yeah, I wonder if they were...

Apparently one in three people cheat.

I wonder if it's my wife or my girlfriend.

On the chicken farm

A farmer who produced free range eggs gave a visitor a tour.

"And in this corner, the hens take some of the grain that we give them and put it in that old water dish, where it ferments and becomes a kind of primitive beer."

The visitor replied "Wow! Chicken brewers! I wonder if it's mo...

My protractor broke

I wonder if it can still be used to a certain degree.

Clark Kent looked ill when I invited him to our Bitcoin trading party after work.

I wonder if he has an aversion to Crypto Night.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So my neighbor with the big boobs is outside, gardening topless again

I wonder if his wife is aware he does this

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A group of golfers get stuck behind a really slow group

Four golfers (a doctor, a lawyer, a priest, and an engineer) are stuck behind a really slow group of golfers. They start to get frustrated, so they call up the course's pro.

"Hey, how come you're letting guys like this on the course? They're hitting their balls all over the place, spending wa...

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