UPJOKE

I Was Addicted To Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If I was addicted to masturbation and then I got addicted to sex...

Would it be safe to assume my addiction got out of hand?

I was addicted to the hokey pokey

Until I turned myself around

I was addicted to soap

But i'm clean now

I was addicted to not bathing for weeks at an end

I’ve been clean for 7 months now

I was addicted to not defending myself against nuns.

But I finally kicked the habit.

I was addicted to thanksgiving leftovers

but I quit cold turkey

I was addicted to lunch meats, but I quit cold turkey.

I'm still hooked on salami and roast beef though.

I told my doctor I was addicted to Twitter

He said "I don't follow you"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In honor of Talk Like a Pirate Day

Here's my favorite pirate joke:

When I was 17, I went on a class trip to a beach but I snuck away to explore on my own. I went into this bar. It had nautical stuff on the wall, a bunch of shark jaws, but also streamers and balloons about the place. It looked like there was a party going on. ...

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