UPJOKE

I Just Realized Jokes

I just realized that the word “seven” has ‘even’ in it.

That’s odd.

I just realized my countertop is made of marble..

I have been taking it for granite all these years.

I just realized Titanic and the Sixth Sense are basically the same movie.

Icy dead People!

I just realized my wife left me because of my obsession with simplifying fractions.

Oh well, hindsight is 1.

I just realized that never is a contraction of 'not ever'.

And blush is a contraction of 'blood rush'.
And studying is a contraction of 'student dying'.

I just realized that I have lost my mood ring...

Not sure how I feel about this...

I just realized why so many women are researching why women make less than men ...

It's cheaper than paying a man to do it.

[OC] i just realized Dwayne Johnson was living above my appartment.

i was living under The Rock for a very long time.

It is cloudy and snowing outside, and I just realized I ate the last piece of cheese in the fridge.

Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone.

I just realized why all my abortion jokes bomb...

...because they never deliver.

*ba dum pish*

As opposed to dead baby jokes, which never get old.

I just realized my phone unlocks whenever I say "Bukkake"

I guess I had facial recognition turned on

I just realized my apartment has a pretty good ceiling.

I mean...it’s not the best, but it’s up there.

I just realized this entire pandemic has been a reverse of Bane.

“Nobody cared who I was until I didn’t put on the mask.”

I just realized today Jack and the Beanstalk is a communist story.

It’s all about seizing the beans of production.

I just realized today is my cake day

I Must of been high to Join Reddit

I just realized I have been using the phrase “sunk cost fallacy” incorrectly all my life.

Oh well, it’s too late to do anything now.

I just realized that the Black Pearl was undermanned...

It was operating with a skeleton crew

I just realized why adult websites have a bunch of incest recently.

Everyone is clicking on 'Show more related videos'.

I just realized how woke Nintendo is.

The Wii and WiiU may be the first consoles in history to have preferred personal pronouns.

From my 4 year old: "Dad, i just realized why these things are called nappies..."

" ...because its like a napkin for your pee, so its called na-pee!"

(proud dad moment)

I just realized that my wife is Santa Claus

I just realized that my wife is Santa Claus. She only comes once a year.

I just realized Aang worked among the people instead of staying in seclusion (like the monks of the Air Nation).

This would make him an Air Friar.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just realized the other day that I'm gay.

It's finally Crystal queer!

I just realized if you rearrange the letters in Hola, you get Aloha.

It's because I'm Canadian and automatically add an eh.

I just realized the sub’s logo is a microphone.

There’s no joke. Just wanted to let you know.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just realized I'm a bisexual.

Every time I have sex, I have to buy it.

I just realized that shovel was a ground-breaking invention.

*Ba-dum-tss*

I just realized when you turn 18 your government free trial has ended...

you can terminate your contract but it voids all other assigning contacts permanently.

It's so sad I just realized Earth isn't a triangle shape!!

Well I guess there isn't any point in life anymore

A German man walks into a McDonald's in the United States...

After waiting in line, he finally gets to the counter, and he orders a pint of beer, because you can get beer at McDonalds in Germany.

An American customer overhears the man's order, and he approaches the German man and says, "How could you be so stupid? you cannot order beer here." while lau...

I just realized why my wife never posts on Reddit.

She always has to have the last word.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just realized I have no idea what moth balls smell like. Have you ever smelled a moth ball before?

“Yeah, they’re awful!”

How’d you manage to get those tiny legs apart?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just realized the fight between obi wan and Anakin perfectly sums up the past year of fighting between Millenials and Boomers, respectively.

When Jedi business becomes too real.

---------------

Millenials: You have allowed this giant turd to twist your mind, until now, until now you've become the very thing you swore to destroy.

Boomer : Don't lecture me, child, I see through the lies of the libtards I do not fear t...

I used to date a girl who was a fan of “Lion king” like me.

Whenever we made out, she used to say Sukona ma tatas.

I always corrected her saying that it’s Hakuna matata.

I just realized that I am an idiot.

A German tourist walks into a McDonald's in New York City and orders a beer.

A German tourist walks into a McDonald's in New York City and orders a beer. The New Yorker the line behind him immediately gives him the jab: "They don't serve BEER here, you MORON!"

The German fellow felt pretty stupid, but suddenly turns to the New Yorker with a surprised look, and begi...

I think it is time to reconsider calling people 'Karen'. It is rude...

We can all be Karen's in our own ways. I just realized I'm a computer Karen.



Every time something is taking too long, or the slightest inconvenience happens, I immediately want to see the task manager.



\*sorry\*

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