UPJOKE

I Just Got Fired Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just got fired from my job as a massage therapist

My boss said I rub people the wrong way.

I just got fired for something that I didn't do...

my job.

I just got fired from my job as a taxi driver.

Turns out people don’t like it when you go the extra mile for them.

I Just got fired from the orange juice factory.

They said I could not concentrate

I just got fired for trying to be flexible at work.

My manager asked me to give him a sec so I told him, "I'll give you all the secs you need."

I just got fired from my job at the door making factory.

I just couldn't get a handle on it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just got fired from my job as a mailman because my boss thinks I’m completely incompetent.

Shit. Meant to post this somewhere else.

I just got fired from my job as a bingo caller...

Apparently, "A meal for two with a hairy view" is *not* an appropriate way of calling out number 69...

I Just got fired from Google

Because I yelled Yahoo! after completing my morning Sudoku at the office

I just got fired from my job in Museum

They said they're not happy with my work here, which is ridiculous, i only worked here for 2 days and already sold 2 picassos.

I think I just got fired from my new job.

I thought I'd make a great lumberjack, but the boss just gave me the axe.

I just got fired for making a typo. It’s unreal. Like IT’S A TYPO! It’s not a big deal.

Firstly, “ie” and “y” are often interchangeable. Secondly a neon sign saying “Comedy Here” is way less eye-catching. And thirdly, the client said it themselves, they’d never had so many people walk in their door.

I just got fired from the pasta factory :(

I made a fusili mistakes.

I just got fired from the post office

My supervisor took me into his office and we actually had a really good conversation. He told me that I wasn't meeting expectations in my current position, and that they didn't have any other jobs open at the moment. I said that I could see where he was coming from, and that I had no hard feelings. ...

I just got fired from newspaper.

I forgot an article.

I can’t believe I just got fired from the calendar factory...

All I did was take a day off.

I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.

They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.

I just got fired from my job at the bakery

Which is upsetting because I really kneaded the dough

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just got fired for sexual harassment.

I'm self employed.

I just got fired from my job at Dyson.

My design for a new hoover didn't work.

I don't know what their problem is, when they asked me to design it they told me, "just make sure it doesn't suck!"

I just got fired on the first day of my job as a nurse at the hospital

Apparently the sign "STROKE PATIENTS" doesn't mean what I thought it meant

I just got fired from my new job at the pharmacy.

Apparently "drug free workplace" and "free drug workplace" are not the same thing at all.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just got fired for having sexual relations with my client

It's alright, I didn't like babysitting anyway.

I just got fired as a mailman. I'm also a part time stand up.

I'm funny but have to work on my delivery.

(Credit to the top comment of a previous post, I forgot whom to deliver the credit to)

I just got fired for looking up clown videos on my lunch break.

My boss didn't buy that "Lisa Ann gets creampied" is a clown video

I just got fired from my job at IKEA

My manager caught me taking some of the Stockholm

I just got fired for getting beauty tips online during my lunch break!

my Boss said " Madison Ivy gets a facial" is not a video on beauty tips.

Reddit wanted proof that I work as a mailman, but I just got fired

Sorry guys, I can't deliver.

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