UPJOKE

I Have Something To Tell You Jokes

Sweetheart I have something to tell you.

Wife: What is it, honey ?

Husband: I ..... I got another woman pregnant.

Wife: Goddammit.

Husband: I know...

Wife: I hate that joke but I'm proud of your work as a fertility doctor!

Husband: Sweetheart, I have something to tell you, I just don't know how to say it...

Wife: Just go on, say it...

Husband: Worcestershire

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young man tells his Mom he’s gay

A young man decides that the upcoming holiday is a good time to tell his Mom that he's gay. He's in college, making new friends, and will eventually want to bring one of them home to meet the family. He spends the drive home going over the conversation, what he'll say, what she'll say, how he'll ans...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three Beautiful Potatoes

Mr and Mrs Potato Head have three beautiful daughters. One night, they're gathered around the dinner table when the eldest daughter speaks up.

"Mom, Dad, I have something to tell you... I'm getting married!"

Mrs Potato Head looks at her "This is such a surprise! Who is he?"

The ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman was pregnant with triplets when she got shot and survived...

The children came out fine and the doctor had told their mother that the bullet would pass through each of them in around 13 years. The children lived a happy life with their parents until they turned 13 years old. On that day, child 1 got a shock. He said to his mother, "Mommy, mommy, I have someth...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.