UPJOKE

I Have A Question Jokes

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I have a question. Is it for fuck's sake, or for fuck sake?

Like, should I put an apostrophe to show possessive? I guess the question would be, is it for the sake of all fucks, or just this fuck in particular?

Idk, so let me know because I'm at work trying to send an email, and I wanted to sound professional.

I have a question for short people.

What are your future goals and how are you able to reach them?

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I have a question.

Do you think deaf girls masturbate with one hand so that they can moan with the other one?

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I have a question again!

So my therapist told me to write letters to everyone I hate then burn them, But what the fuck do I do with the letters!?!?

I have a question for only fans users

Why don’t you get air conditioning instead

I have a question about cow tipping.

Is 15% enough?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I have a question about butt plugs...

Are they always a pain in the ass?

A man and his son are walking, and the son says, "Father, I have a question."

The father says, "Yes, son?"

"Father, why is my sister called Brooke?"

The father replies, "We called her Brooke because when she was conceived, your mother and I were near a brook."

The son thinks about this and then says, "Father, I have another question."

The father sa...

I have a question

If I make dad jokes without being a dad, does that make me a faux pa?

Customer: I have a question about the menu please.

Server: *slaps customer* THE MEN I PLEASE ARE NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!

A guy called British Airways before his flight from London to Paris: “Hi, I have a question. Can I fly to France using my drivers license?”

“No”, said the woman. “You need a plane”

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I have a question about tampons

Do they call it Tampax Pearl because it goes in their clam?

Please help: I have a question...

I have a question for Stephen Hawking but whenever I call him I can only reach his answering machine.

What screams "I have a question that has been asked and answered ten thousand times?"

Someone from r/AskReddit

A Teacher wants to do a little Quiz with her Students.

Teacher:"Guess what this is, which animal has a Beak and Feathers?"

Random Student:"A Duck!"

Teacher:"Thats right, but it could also be a Goose.
Next question, which animal has Claws and Fur?"

Random Student:"A Dog!"

Teacher:"Thats right, but it could also be a Cat."...

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question (Warning not suitable for people under the aged of 18 you have been warned)

Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?
None, replied Johnny, cause the rest would fly away,
Well, the answer is four, said the teacher, but i like the way you're thinking.
Little Johnny says i have a question for you. If t...

It’s 1975 and a zebra from the Bronx zoo dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates. As he enters, he asks St. Peter "I have a question that's haunted me all of my days on earth. Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?"

St. Peter said "That's a question only God can answer.”

So the zebra went off in search of God. When he found Him, the zebra asked "God, please - I must know... am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?"

God simply replied "You are what you are.”

The zebra...

George Bush was visiting the queen of England...

when he asked her "I must say, you run a real tight ship over here, would you mind telling me some of your secrets or advice?".

The queen said "sure, its quite simple, I surround myself with smart people, for example, watch this". She then calls upon Tony Blair. "Tony, I have a simple questio...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A coworker of mine comes up to me

He says, “What’s up man? I have a question for you”

“Ok” I reply

“Imagine you go camping with some other guys. One night you all are doing a lot of drinking. You wake up in the morning with your pants down to your ankles and Vaseline in your butthole. Would you tell any body about tha...

He has a nun fantasy

A cabbie picks up a Nun.

She gets into the cab and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won’t stop staring at her.

She asks him why he is staring.

He replies:

\- “I have a question to ask, but I don’t want to offend you”

She answers,

\- ”My son, you...

Angela Merkel visits Donald Trump in Washington

During her stay Trump asks her: "Tell me Chancellor Merkel, what's the secret of your years of success?"

Chancellor Merkel responds: "Well I have always surrounded myself with intelligent people."

"Very interesting", says Trump, "but how exactly do you know if they are intelligent?"<...

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