UPJOKE

I Hate Myself Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I hate myself so much, I refuse to masturbate

I'm not giving that prick the satisfaction.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I hate myself for laughing, but a joke my grandpa told me..

What do you call 5 black people having sex?


A Three some.

I hate myself a little for this...

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?

GLOVES!

...Nah, just kidding!

*He still hasn't unwrapped his present!!!*

My friend says, “man I hate myself.”

I say, “hey, man, you need to think better of yourself. You’re a good person and a good friend.”

My friend says, “it’s hard for me to do that.”

I say, “Really? I don’t find it so hard to lie to myself.”

I used to eat a dozen doughnuts and hate myself. So I went on a diet, and I have made some real progress!

Now I hate myself after only one doughnut!

I hate it when attention-seeking people announce their cake day

Well, I hate myself

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